Animorphs : The Beginning : the conclusion
by Shivanfire
Summary: This is the epic conclusion to Animorphs 54 : The Beginning, finally completed after four years.
1. Endgame

A shadow loomed over our war.

I had long thought we were alone in our ability to stand outside the stream of time and pull on the threads of the universe. But I knew nothing of the evil that threatened to transform our chess game into a three-way, all-out war.

Crayak had come to this galaxy, chased out of another by a force greater than he. Greater than me.

That force called itself The One.

In many ways he was like Father. For milennia he did not show itself, and I wondered if he was just an echo from my past that Crayak forged to haunt my present.

But The One was real, and it soon became clear that he was not a creature of Crayak's.

Unlike Crayak, The One didn't want to cleanse the galaxy of all forms of life. He wanted to absorb all life forms into himself. He assimilated the bodies and tortured the minds of countless beings as they became a part of him, living on as corrupted and diabolical versions of their former selves.

The most frightening thing was that The One had a power far greater than Father ever had. While Father was condemned to solitude on a single planet, The One was more powerful than any force in the galaxy. While Father killed his victims, The One kept them alive, imprisoning their minds in eternal torment. He had absorbed countless races and beings, and its only desire was for more victims, more minds to consume.

He cared nothing for the game or its rules. At every moment he threatened to make open war, to rip and destroy the foundations of space and time in a cataclysm that would cause the universe to collapse.

But The One waited in the background as Crayak and I played out our game. The One was more powerful than either of us separately, but he feared a truce between Crayak and me. So he intentionally prolonged our game, sabotaging the efforts of whichever player seemed to be ahead at the time. As we played, The One continued to assimilate more and more bodies and species into himself, growing in power and strength. He provoked and distorted our game pieces to suit his whims, always preparing for the day when they would become a part of him.

In his endless search for more beings to control, he saw one of the human children. He saw the amazing potential in this human, saw his strengths and weaknesses. The One wanted to absorb him, despite the fact that he was a major chess piece in the game.

The One tormented his mind more fully than Crayak or I ever had. He called to him, grabbed his space-time line, changed his destiny to cross paths with The One. Bound by the rules of the game, all I could do was watch.

But I saw something. There was something about this human that both The One and Crayak had not considered. Something they hadn't understood, and dismissed as unimportant.

Something...

The One waited like a vulture overhead, ready at any moment to absorb the loser and crush the winner of the game. He would then be free to enslave the universe - a universe forever enslaved under his command.

Neither Crayak nor I could defeat him alone. An alliance between us was impossible.

How could he lose?

******

"Jake!" Cassie screamed.

I leapt impossibly high, jumping over the waves of Hork-Bajir trying to gut me, gut the tiger. But I was too fast for them.

Suddenly, coming towards my face! A rat!

It scratched at my eyes with small, sharp claws. I swung a mighty paw, but David was too fast for me, darting away.

Close, she was so close! Ten feet!

The Howler hit me in the side. Didn't even know it was there. But, couldn't stop. Had to help Cassie. Had to...

"KEEEEEEEeeeee-row!" Like a lightning bolt inside my head! I fell, and clawed hands reached for me.

A burning pain at my ear! A Yeerk, forcing its way inside. Nooooo!

Flash! I demorphed, human again, all my scars gone.

But all my enemies were lying dead, hundreds of them, piled high in grotesque positions. Their lifeless eyes stared coldly at me.

They could never demorph.

"Cassie!"

I went to her, sobbing, crawling away from all the death and pain. Away, to Cassie. Nothing else mattered, if Cassie was okay.

But she only smiled cruelly, raising a Dracon beam, pointing it at me. At me.

NO! It couldn't be!

"Cassie!" I pleaded. "It's me! Cassie!"

"You're dead, Jake," she said.

She was still laughing when she pulled the trigger.

FLASH!

"Captain, to the bridge!"

Menderash's voice pulled me back from another restless sleep. Another nightmare.

I knew the past was gone. It was over. Nothing could change what I had done.

Nothing could change...

The seventeen thousand Yeerks. Rachel. Tom. The auxiliary Animorphs. The innocent Hork-Bajir and humans, even the Taxxons. All dead, by my command.

"What is it?" I asked.

"That was _my_ question," Marco muttered.

"Ship approaching in normal space, Captain. They've hailed us. Standard inquiry: our point of origin and destination."

"Okay," I said. "Answer them..."

To the Blade ship, Santorelli said, "There is no empire, Efflit-One-Three-One-Eight. The empire is finished..."

The Blade ship was surrounded by an ominous feeling. Like this was meant to be, like something had started that couldn't be stopped. Like we were destined to be here.

The Controller nodded. "You will place yourself under the command of The One?" he asked... "I command this ship, but I serve at the pleasure of The One Who Is Many. The One Who Is _All_...I will invoke his presence."

The screen glowed to life with a brightness that covered the entire front of the ship. In the searing light, the alien showed himself to us, his face morphing from machine to elf to the face of Ax.

"Save your tricks for this Yeerk fool," The One said. "I see the truth. I see all. Step into view, Jake the Yeerk-Killer. I know you are there, I feel your mind."

Like a twisted, dark version of the Ellimist. Like Crayak, only less controlled and more maniacal.

The One was the voice I had heard. The presence that had twisted my dreams into nightmares about the future. Where my past haunted me forever. Where Earth had fallen to the Yeerks. Where Cassie was cold and ruthless. Where my best friend was a Controller, a slave...

Where Rachel still fought, no matter her pain, her past.

No matter how evil The One was, it couldn't twist Rachel to anything. She was too strong. She was beautiful, faithful, and true to herself. She trusted me, even when I wasn't trusting myself.

She was the hero that I never was.

_War destroyed her_, I told myself. But she only did what she knew she had to do. She went after Tom because it had to be done.

To fight an evil, you must become evil. We fought for our world so that it would be saved for others. But it would never be saved for us.

"I'm here," I said calmly.

In that shifting alien face were every corruption, every evil, and such power that it seemed impossible it could be present in just the narrow confines of the onrushing Blade ship. It had to be destroyed.

"Can we shoot?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"His Dracon cannon have longer range and greater power," Menderash reported grimly. "And his defensive fields have been enhanced. I doubt our cannon can penetrate them."

"Thought so," I said. "But we're faster."

"Yes."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. I looked at Tobias. At Marco. "What was it, Marco? 'Crazy, reckless, ruthless decisions'?"

They were waiting for my command, one last time.

I looked at the Blade ship. I looked at The One.

For all my mistakes, all my failures. For all the people who had died because of my choices.

For Rachel.

"Full emergency power to the engines," I said. "Ram the Blade ship."

******

It was coming like a tidal wave, powerful and unstoppable. After so much time, after so many battles, after an endless struggle, I could feel it in the very fabric of space-time. So could Crayak.

The end was coming.

For the first time, he was unsure. He was nervous. He was afraid.

"He will not do it," Crayak boomed. "It is impossible."

I said nothing. Crayak exploded.

"You bent the rules!" Crayak shouted, as a vast red light filled my vision. "You manipulated him!"

"I did not interfere," I said.

We watched as the two ships met in space. The One was there.

"Liar!" Crayak reached out to strike me directly. But he was shaken, and his power was weakening. I easily blocked his blow.

"You lose, Crayak."

"No!" he shouted. "No!"

"You brought it upon yourself," I said, calm now that we both saw what must be. "You refused to believe."

"No!" But the red light was dimmed and fading. He turned to me, his old enemy, for the last time. "You knew all along what he would do!"

"No. I only hoped, Crayak. I played the game."

The game was ending. My time here was done.

_Well, Toomin, you've come a long way from Ket_, I thought to myself. I had seen my world destroyed, seen a billion lives' worth of death and destruction, and had fought for millenia against an evil too great for mortal minds to understand. But I could still hope.

Crayak was all but destroyed. His power vanquished, his dark light gone, he said finally, "This is the end, Ellimist. But there is still the Time Matrix," he said. "There is still power and corruption. And death will overcome you, even without me to help."

"It is the end," I agreed. "But after every end is a beginning. And as long as there is life, there is hope."

For so long, the fate and destiny of the universe had rested on the intricate balance of the triumvirate of great powers, the only three entities that had the ability to alter the infinitely complicated fourth dimension of time.

The Ellimist. The last of his kind. A dreamer of a peaceful universe, a place of endless art. A being of light and love.

But every light has its shadow, and the brightest hope has the darkest shadow of despair. Crayak was an unholy meld of creature and machine. Life augmented by terrible power. He thrived on terrible precision.

And thus a terrible war was waged between the two great powers, overseen only by The One. The One was indifferent to the meaningless clash of the titans. It cared not of the outcome, for it would simply integrate the victor to further strengthen its own conglomerate self. The One had even gone so far as to chase Crayak into a forced conflict with the Ellimist. It was Crayak's sole fear.

Aximili the Andalite recognized the significance that humans would play. For it was to be, that had not Jake Berenson been the leader of the Animorphs, that the Andalites would have won the war against the Yeerks after time enough.

But they would lose the greater battle.

The One was inherently all-encompassing, lacking any sense of individuality.

Crayak's ultimate goal was to become ruler of minions. Crayak could not tolerate him. The Ellimist's ultimate goal was to have peace and harmony, a world of art and uniqueness. The Ellimist could not tolerate him.

Crayak failed. For it attempted to destroy the easier prey, the Ellimist, before taking on the main task.

The Ellimist succeeded. For he knew that only by the destruction of The One would come the banishment of Crayak forever.

In an instant, with his sacrifice, Jake saved the universe. Sacrifice for another, together with the might of love, embodied in one act; so the bond of the human spirit flowed through Jake Berenson.

The One could not stand sacrifice, he who thrived on evilness and self-preservation. It saw that while Rachel would win the battle, the war would be lost. But it did not know that in her death, she would become a part of the Animorphs' souls, a part of Jake, forever.

Crayak could not stand love. Its actions were all the time known by The One and some of their goals were parallel. Crayak attempted and failed to use Rachel as a pawn to destroy Jake, the future hero of the universe, and ironically it was Rachel, through Jake, that saved all.

For both The One and Crayak had visions of a static world where rule was subjugated and all lived without individuality or as slaves. Neither would be possible if their minions knew of love, empathy, understanding. And neither near-omnipotent being could understand those things. Thus their downfall came through Jake.

And as the Ellimist said so long ago of the humans, they were indeed capable of understanding.

Without physical forms, The One and Crayak thrived on illusion, control, and evil. They were destroyed by the reality of friendship.

The Ellimist now was the sole possessor of the knowledge, out of all beings, of the importance of a single change, a single person. Jake chose to live with the burden of slaughtering thousands of living beings. With this sacrifice he substantially weakened Crayak and The One. With the purposeful sacrifice of his own life in favor of one he loved, he utterly obliterated them.

And in an instant, the Ellimist found himself without equal. He could choose to be monarch of the galaxies, unrivaled ruler of all. He could choose to enslave and command and destroy. He could choose the Yeerk way of conquering or The One's method of melding into shapeless unity or Crayak's way of fear.

Instead, the figure smiled.

The Ellimist knew his time as a chessmaster was over. There was time, perhaps, for one last change.

But how could he meddle again, knowing how infinitely complicated the universe was?

Without peer, he pondered the thoughts, viewing the continuum of space time as a work of art. So many swirls of lives, melding and affecting the others, forming a unification of unimaginable complexity.

The human race had been the only possibility of saving the galaxies. Their infinite adaptibility coupled with their diverse personalities formed a combination unmatched by any other species. Each human, each Animorph, was chosen to represent a part of the human spirit. Even Rachel, who had not been chosen, but was destined to become an Animorph nonetheless, as she had the unbridled ferocity of a warrior, a trait the Ellimist had overlooked. Thus, as they were part of every human, they never really died. The Ellimist was merely preserving what was already contained in every heart. And in this dimension, at least, they would not perish from this war of the triad. Not for saving the galaxy.

The sacrifice had been made, the Ellimist said to himself: they were merely receiving their just reward.

Watching over the final remaining sub-temporally grounded Animorph, the Ellimist, the last of his kind, made his final change, just a slight push, and vanished for the final time, never to meddle again.

As he disappeared, a quiet voice could be heard throughout the galaxies, a truth not defiled with evil heart nor enslaving spirit, the voice of the Ellimist.

"I win."


	2. Dreams of the Past

I was dreaming. Again.  
  
After the fateful day aboard the Pool ship, I had unsettling dreams, I think because of Jake. I didn't know what to do. I had been so close to Jake, I understood him and loved him, but then it was suddenly as though an invisible force was driving us apart.  
  
Then I thought I knew what the invisible force was - real life. I began having suspicious thoughts... I knew, or thought, that Jake had loved me.  
  
But I had realized that the only reason we were together was because of the war.  
  
Jake needed me, I had told myself. He had to make terrible, ruthless decisions sometimes, and needed me to balance out. He was the killer. I was the savior.  
  
In my mind, and in my thoughts, Jake and I had grown even farther apart, as I separated myself from Jake. Just in the way that Jake had no doubt tried to differentiate himself from the Yeerks. But he couldn't, I had thought. Because he was just like the Yeerks. He had to be.  
  
They were evil, heartless creatures. All of them! The Yeerks, for all their enslavement and destruction. The Andalites, for their ruthless tactics, for their betrayal, for their sacrifice of everything in favor of victory. Jake, for his orders to murder, to kill, his choices to slaughter. Rachel... Rachel!  
  
My thoughts had wavered. Rachel had been my best friend. Unlike Jake, with the war drawing us together, the war pushed Rachel and I apart. But Rachel, I had told myself, was utterly destructive. She was decisive, she knew what she wanted, and wasn't going to let anyone get in her way.  
  
And what she wanted was to win. To win she had thought that she needed to kill, to destroy.  
  
But I knew that we could have made peace! And it worked, I told myself. The Taxxons were now our allies, without threat of force. Some Yeerks, too. Slaughter led to casualties. Pacifism led to peace.  
  
I had realized how all the Animorphs were cruel beings, too, for following Jake's command blindly. Ax, for his eagerness to slaughter Yeerks. Marco, for his unfeeling attitude about all those who died. Tobias, for his predatory attributes, for applying his raptor way of life to the battlefield.  
  
Me, I had caused harm only when absolutely necessary. I was good. They were evil.  
  
I had told myself over and over again these thoughts. Had told myself again and again that I was right.  
  
The dreams had stopped, the nightmares of carnage and of destruction and of guilt. They stopped when I had mostly convinced myself that the guilt was not mine, that the countless lives lost were not my fault.  
  
I heard Erek's voice, "You needed what, a diversion? You needed a diversion so you massacred seventeen thousand sentient creatures?"  
  
I didn't. Jake did. His fault, not mine.  
  
None of it my fault.  
  
I didn't know it then, but when I stopped thinking about Jake and the others, and turned to my life with Ronnie, I stopped being an Animorph.  
  
I could still morph, of course, that wasn't it. But I had stopped being part of the team. I was "out of the loop," as Marco would say. I had lost the vision, of banding together in the fight for freedom. The fight was finished, I told myself. My life as an Animorph was done. I made the decision subconsciously to morph rarely, and soon I had chosen to never again change forms. It reminded me of my previous life too much. It was over.  
  
And now I was dreaming.  
  
I was dreaming of space. Blackness. The vision zoomed in, I could make out stars, growing, then a faint planet in the far distance, then...  
  
A spaceship?  
  
Oh, no, I thought. Jake had told me where they went, to rescue Ax from the Yeerks. Jake. Marco and Tobias. The ruthless, murdering Animorphs. Risking their lives for their friend... But no, I told myself. They weren't doing this for a friend. Jake was going on the mission because, in his words, it was a lifeline for him. Marco was probably bored to tears without any slaughter to laugh about, and Tobias had nothing to live for without Rachel. It wasn't out of friendship that they went, I told myself.  
  
Jake had said that they used a Yeerk spaceship to rescue Ax.  
  
I saw them, as the picture pulled back further, I was seeing the innards of the ship. The bridge. In frozen animation, like a stopped movie. I saw Marco, Tobias, two other men, and a woman. I saw Jake, seeming considerably older than when I had seen him for the last time. But when I peered into his eyes, there was a dangerous fire in them.  
  
Fire, destructive and evil, I told myself.  
  
Someone hit the 'play' button.  
  
Suddenly, I felt the presence of evil. Death. Destruction. Every horrible part of war, genocide, famine, darkness, together in a single form. It became manifest on the front of the ship, absorbing the view screen. Its face appeared, shifting forms, finally changing to the face of Ax...The camera zoomed in, to its Andalite face, which split open, leaving a huge gash with a horrible mouth.  
  
It oddly seemed similar to our meetings with Visser One. Although he possessed the dangerous Andalite body, it was the darkness within him that truly terrified us and radiated evil from his very being.  
  
I felt as though I was being swallowed by the face... All of a sudden the picture pulled back, swirling, shifting, until I could see both the Yeerk modified fighter with Jake, and the Blade ship. Jake's ship gained speed and slammed into the Blade ship.  
  
Both exploded in a brilliant cloud of debris, sending hundreds of tons of metal and electronics and biological matter flying everywhere. To the outsider it would have simply appeared to be a catastrophic event.  
  
I was not an outsider.  
  
When the ships had blown up, I had suddenly felt the absence of the evil, like a huge easing of pressure. Could the evil really have been contained in the ship? It was impossible. Visser One's evil had been really contained in his Andalite body...but this was far beyond even his cruel heart.  
  
It had to be a dream. Just a dream. Not real. Couldn't be.  
  
But I knew, deep down, that it was true.  
  
That this event was the end of the Animorphs. All dead but me, and I had left.  
  
I had known that eventually, it would come to this. You can't fight a war while being sure that you will still be breathing at the end. And I had devoted my life to peace, to ensuring the prosperity of the Hork-Bajir, a growing population. And all other things natural.  
  
I love nature. That was why I had to fight, the Yeerks would have destroyed all semblance of natural life, human or not. I had to stop them to protect and preserve our species and our planet.  
  
And I didn't want to die. I was in service to the peoples of the world. I didn't want to go on a far-flung mission to track down the last remnant of the Yeerks. I had a life, here, on Earth, with Ronnie.  
  
So when I had the dream, I saw it as merely the absolute end of one part of my life, and the beginning of another.  
  
Wasn't the end, I told myself. It was just marking the last point of the Animorphs, ever. It was a fresh start, leaving behind the terrible, terrible war. It was the beginning.  
  
I turned over in my sleeping bag, inside the tent that Ronnie and I had pitched up. Listened to the quiet chirping of birds, as always happened in the mountains in the early morning. The sky was still darkened and the air was cool, relaxing.  
  
The Animorphs were no more, I told myself. I put all thoughts of the war, of my friends - no, comrades-in-arms, behind me. Not my friends. Not living. Not important. Not my problem. Not anymore.  
  
*****  
  
I was awakened by a horrendously loud crash.  
  
I quickly sat up, rubbed my eyes, and glanced at Ronnie. I was surprised to find that he wasn't awake, but I had known that he usually slept like a rock. Wanting to investigate, I quietly unzipped the tent door and crawled out into the crisp predawn breeze.  
  
I began to walk in the direction that I thought the sound came from. After a few minutes, it became all at once freezing. Not having brought any extra clothing with me, shivering in the mountain climate, I began to morph.  
  
It happened subconsciously. I didn't mean to, really. It would be bad for me, would bring back bad memories. So many memories.  
  
But, I told myself, they were just that: memories. No substance.  
  
I felt a slight falling sensation as I had a hundred times before. My nose bulged out to form a snout, while my legs shortened to become flush with my arms on the ground. A shaggy coat of gray hair sprouted from my skin.  
  
As my ears elongated, my sense of hearing once again became fifty times the capacity for human hearing. I was smelling better than I was hearing, all the animals and plants, the terrain, even the wind.  
  
Finally, the wolf's mind rose to meet my own. The wolf, cunning and swift, wasn't all that interested about things that happened awhile ago to my little human self. It was more interested in all the little creatures, the movement, that happened against the backdrop of twigs and leaves and streams.  
  
The mind of a predator. I didn't have to put up with it constantly, just while in morph. It was almost as though I had been trapped out of morph...but I still had the power to change.  
  
I trotted along for an hour or so. Truthfully, I would have been in danger of being trapped in wolf morph, I was so relaxed and peaceful, but that was when I saw the young bird.  
  
It was not a baby, but it was still very young. It was peering, from a viewpoint on top of a bush, at a family of ducks waddling along, the mother duck in front with her children following behind her. The bird, I noticed, flew in a really haphazard way, kind of leaning to one side. It was almost as if it had started to learn "flight school curriculum" but had missed some important points, like how to steer.  
  
It made me smile, to think about that. It was almost the sort of joke that I would have heard, a long time ago.  
  
The mother duck and her ducklings with the bird in tow walked along for a while more. I guess the bird got too close for comfort, though, because the mother duck squawked at it and led her children away. The bird was looking like it had no idea what to do.  
  
How many times had I been in that situation? I couldn't even remember them all...the decisions, the choices, the morals...often between saving my friends and preserving our ethics... but, I realized, I hadn't had to make the final calls, or carry the burden afterwards. I had always had someone else take the burden, make the decision for me.  
  
So, I did something I probably shouldn't have. I mean, my purpose was to protect nature, right? Not to interfere, really, I knew that would probably have a worse effect than better. But reckless though it was, I knew that it was necessary. I had a cause right now, to save this little bird, and I forgot everything else. It was all pointless, when it came down to saving this baby bird. Everything else could be pushed aside.  
  
I demorphed.  
  
In osprey morph I spied the bird's family. Only one adult was home, tending to the other children. But I soon found the other parent as well. Everyone was entirely distressed. It was silly, like their entire way of life was messed up when one of them got lost.  
  
The bird was trying to be a duck. It had lost its family, didn't even know that they still existed, couldn't even conceive that they existed, and didn't know any better than to think of itself as a duck.  
  
Had I not been there, I have no doubt that the bird and the family would have both all perished, the family from being undefended by egg stealers and owl attacks, the lone bird being eaten by any of a variety of predators.  
  
But I was there, and this bird was not gonna die.  
  
A few minutes later, bird and family were reunited. The babies were chirping happily, and the parents were nuzzling their juvenile.  
  
I was happy for them. But I was also suddenly very lonely. I felt like I was in a completely different world from these content birds, without family or friends, thinking that I was something that I wasn't.  
  
I knew in my heart, then, the truth, that I was not happy. Not for myself. I still loved nature...but I was missing something. Something important.  
  
And then it hit me like a sledgehammer: I could never be like the birds. I had lost my friends. I could never get them back. I had reunited the family, but the world had not provided a similar opportunity for me.  
  
How could I live like this? All the peace and wealth in the world meant nothing if you had no friends to share it with. How could I be at peace with myself, when I was the last of the Animorphs?  
  
As a wolf, I slowly made my way back to the tent.  
  
Over and over again I went over our adventurous missions. There had been so many battles where the outcome was so close. I ran through the final days of the resistance in my mind.  
  
Everything was linked together. All events depended on each other, interwoven... and yet I knew that the most minor change would be the only way, any other change of greater magnitude would spell disaster. And it all came back to me, in a rush.  
  
Rachel died. Jake knew she was going to, he had sent her, even before it happened, he knew. He also knew that he couldn't live with himself. That's why he didn't restrain Ax from flushing seventeen thousand Yeerks. But like a true commander he put the battle before his friends. He didn't realize that a true hero would put loved ones before all.  
  
With Rachel's death, Jake became withdrawn. Jake had nothing more for which to live, save for keeping the memory and the guilt of the dead Yeerks, Rachel, and Tom. Without his best friend, Marco lost his substance. He saw what the war did to Jake, and was scared. Tried to help him, but couldn't. Marco became lost in the material world.  
  
Erek had said that Jake needed me more than ever. Marco had said that, too, much later... but I had been in my own world, unaccepting that Jake would kill Rachel, even in that indirect way... I had to separate myself from them, somehow. By doing so I preserved myself for a while but I destroyed Jake's last shred of hope.  
  
Because Rachel had perished, the Blade ship survived and became destined to doom Ax to consumption by the evil being I had witnessed, when he had only been an Andalite Prince for two years...  
  
And poor Tobias...I had told Jake that Rachel was the first and only person that ever loved Tobias, and I knew it was true. Tobias lost himself forever in the hawk, only to die along with Jake and Marco on the ship the Rachel. So many lives, screeching to a halt, stopping forever. Because of the Yeerks.  
  
No, I told myself. Not because of the Yeerks. I had believed and known for a long time that Aftran and others like her just wanted to live in peace. I had known that was possible, the Iskoorts were living peacefully, but the morphing power proved to be the true savior of the Yeerks and the Taxxons. Just the same, the Yeerks as a whole were bent on conquest...why?  
  
Because of one Yeerk. Because of Visser One.  
  
He had not died, though sentenced to a life sentence in prison. He had not died, and by his hand, through his command, because of him, Jake and Rachel and Tobias and Marco and Ax and thousands, thousands more had died violently, either unwilling slaves of the Yeerk empire or fighting to save their people's freedom from his tyranny.  
  
Everything tied to everything. Make one change, and change all. Make too much change and destroy all that you have worked for, alter it forever.  
  
I was nearly back to the tent when I had a flash of insight. He had the capacity to be a leader, we knew, but would he believe me? Just one small change...and no one would know, or realize, until the change occurred. It was perfect, crystal perfection in my mind. I knew it would work. Not a guess. I knew.  
  
And finally, when I came to the clearing with our tent, I was almost not surprised to find an eight-foot glowing sphere just outside.  
  
I looked at the tent one last time. I knew now that it was Ronnie who represented my old life. He would have a good life, I knew. With some other woman.  
  
Once again, I didn't look at this moment in time like the end of my life with Ronnie. For the Animorphs, for me, it was the beginning.  
  
"Bye, Ronnie," I whispered, as I placed my hand upon the Time Matrix.  
  
*****  
  
I knew why the Ellimist chose to do the absolute minimum. Not just because of The Rules. He knew that the flow of time wasn't something clear-cut, wasn't straightforward. It was full of complexities, interactions, linked events.  
  
Absolute minimum.  
  
My thoughts suddenly went back when we destroyed the first Kandrona. It was so much easier then, the Yeerks had increased their security so much between then and now. But 'easier' didn't mean easy.  
  
I remembered the way that the Ellimist had 'shown' us the way of escape, and where to attack, indirectly. He had taken us from a situation of sure death to a position where we could strike a terrible blow against the Yeerks. Indirectly.  
  
I was going to change history. I was going to play the part of the Ellimist.  
  
And I was scared. What if I screwed everything up? What if I made it so that the Yeerks won? What then?  
  
I looked at the Time Matrix, humming innocently. The indestructible object, so plain, and yet having so much power!  
  
Elfangor had been wise to hide it.  
  
How could I do this? Who was I, to play God?  
  
I began to doubt myself. Maybe this, my normal life, was for the best... without war... without guilt... without terrible losses.  
  
I turned back to the tent. Ronnie. Sleeping peacefully.  
  
Turned to the Time Matrix.  
  
Peace and quiet.  
  
Conflict and war.  
  
A simple life, protecting nature, protecting the Hork-Bajir.  
  
So much responsibility. So many doubts.  
  
Help me decide! I pleaded. Help me!  
  
I wasn't really expecting an answer to my plea. But I looked towards the horizon, with mountains and forests, creatures too small to be seen, but there nonetheless. One moment the sky was clear, beautiful, but contrasting with the living landscape, empty of life.  
  
And the next, a red-tailed hawk dropped out of a cloud, gracefully floating, flying in the breeze.  
  
A chill came over me. I could hear my own heart beating, slowly. The sky rippled like it had waves of heat. Time slowed to a crawl.  
  
This was no true red-tail.  
  
Following the hawk, like a shimmering, ghostly vision, flew a magnificent peregrine falcon. A northern harrier. An osprey.  
  
And a bald eagle.  
  
My vision swooned, and suddenly, it was as if the flock was transparent, like I could see the actual Animorph inside each bird of prey.  
  
And I swear, I could hear faint thought-speak voices, from far, far away. Just like one of our missions.  
  
I saw Tobias, the restless loner. He was trapped, but paved the path for our eventual victory. Tobias had chosen to remain a hawk, freeing himself from his species, the root of the idea for permanently morphed Taxxons and Yeerks, the stem of the plan for peace.  
  
I saw Marco, the strategist. Marco saw the situation, was ruthless when necessary, but never failed to make everyone laugh when there was humor in the situation. Or even when there wasn't.  
  
I saw Ax, the soldier. He knew the enemy, had a strong sense of honor that we would all like to share.  
  
I saw Jake, the center. He held everyone together in the worst of times, kept us going, made the decisions, was with us all every step of the way.  
  
And I saw Rachel, the spirit. We respected her for her loyalty, admired her for her bravery. Rachel believed in what we were fighting for - freedom. And she was willing to make the sacrifice of guilt, and even her life, in order to spare the rest of us from having to live with our conscience after we have fought and killed.  
  
I don't believe in reincarnation. I believe that once you die, you're dead. Did I believe in the afterlife, in heaven and hell?  
  
I wasn't sure.  
  
If Rachel was still thinking, if she was still alive somewhere... what would she say? What would she tell me to do?  
  
I knew. "Do what it takes, Cassie," she would say, smiling, "Do what needs to be done, do what's right, and don't let anything get in your way."   
  
I knew that I couldn't save everyone. I couldn't affect the large-scale diversion, the sacrifice of hundreds of soldiers, and of the poor auxiliary Animorphs. That would be too much of a change. It was too risky. It pained me to say it, hurt so much to realize it, but it was a war. No one had a clean conscience. Casualties had to happen.  
  
Had to be focused. I had one purpose in mind, one goal. No change could be noticed before that goal was realized.  
  
I knew there would be complications. There had to be. Couldn't account for everything, too many emotions, too many reactions, of friends and enemies. But I also knew that we could handle them. Hoped.  
  
I knew that what I was planning might prolong the battle a bit. But I knew that violence and bloodshed were a tragic necessity of war.  
  
Would I have said that a year ago? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I had changed, grown darker. Maybe it was because all my friends were no longer alive.  
  
I still hated this. Hated all of it. But it was necessary. I would do what had to be done.  
  
I would speak to both of them. One would slip away, away from the mass slaughter, unnoticed, substituting for the other, so that the second could get into position. They would both have to play their parts.  
  
I would have to play mine, too.  
  
Me, as the Ellimist. It was strange. But I had no far-seeing ability to help me. All I could do was rely on my instincts, and hope.  
  
"Do what's right, Cassie. Do what needs to be done."  
  
When my eyes looked up again, the raptors were gone.  
  
By the time Ronnie woke up, so was I.  
  
*****  
  
War was corrupting Jake. He was an Animorph, a brave warrior. But first and foremost he was a general, bent on winning at all costs. At any cost. No matter the casualties. No matter who died.  
  
It was pure agony, knowing how much he would regret that decision later. I hated war for its destruction, but mostly I hated war for what it does to people. What it did to Jake. What it did to Rachel...  
  
But now it was all about Jake. He was making a deal with the devil, trusting Tom's Yeerk.  
  
I had appeared in a secluded section of forest, relatively near our old camp. During the resistance I went there on my own, to think alone, for some quiet.  
  
The Time Matrix stood out like a sore thumb in contrast with the lush green of the forest. I was pretty far away from the resistance, but I figured that I had better not take any chances.  
  
Morphing to elephant, I tore up various trees and bushes and loose boulders, creating a small landslide that covered the Matrix. Satisfied, I demorphed and then to squirrel.  
  
I scampered along the forest floor, wary of any predators, until I reached the border of our camp. I passed a Hork-Bajir guard sitting high up, camouflaged in his post.  
  
The resistance, from an outsider's point of view, was impressive. It seemed strong, the pact of Hork-Bajir, Andalite, and human, coming together against a common foe. Having a charged atmosphere like everyone was ready for battle, it seemed strong emotionally too.  
  
I knew better.  
  
I witnessed Jake's conversation with the Chee. His blackmail. The android's heavy disapproval.  
  
Jake's forcing Erek to kill. Then, Jake telling Ax to lie to his people.  
  
Finally, James. James, pleading for the sake of his young companions, them having to deal with the shock of having your friend die. Jake, raising his voice, commanding every last one of them to be sent to their likely deaths.  
  
I hated the war for what it did to Jake.  
  
But now was not the time.  
  
A few hours later, when James was winging his way to his position with the rest of his auxiliary soldiers, I followed him in mid-air, being careful to stay far back from the group.  
  
James, this is Cassie. I need to speak to you for a moment, don't stop flying.  
  
Sure, Cassie he said, sounding confused but willing.  
  
This is going to sound very strange, James, but you have to trust me... I quietly explained to him the situation.  
  
This would be a test for James's resolve. He was a good follower and a good leader, but would he believe me?  
  
A silence ensued.  
  
Okay, Cassie he said finally. Tell me what I need to do.  
  
I told him. Of course, the ultimate action would be up to him. He had to decide for himself what was right or wrong. He had a choice to make.  
  
As did I...  
  
We quickly flew back to camp, in somber moods. James, because his friends for the past years were now probably going to be sacrificed. Me, because I alone knew the carnage that lay before us. 


	3. Seventeen Thousand

Jake, there are seventeen thousand, three hundred seventy-two Yeerks in this pool, Ax said.  
  
That rocked me.  
  
Visser One had to know we were here, on the loose. He had to run for the bridge and not stay to win the fight in engineering.  
  
Seventeen thousand. Living creatures. Thinking creatures.  
  
How could I give this order? Even for victory. Even to save Rachel.  
  
It was what they deserved. Their choice to come to Earth. Not my fault.  
  
No more than they deserved.  
  
Aliens. Parasites. Subhuman.  
  
My mind was hazy, filled by a constant dull buzzing, drowning out all doubts. I was ready to be ruthless. Ready to give the command that would doom seventeen thousand Yeerks to their deaths. Ready to make the sacrifice of forever living with the consequences of my action... I was ready.  
  
"Flush-" I stopped in midsentence.  
  
Ax looked at me strangely.  
  
Prince Jake?  
  
Why? What stopped me?  
  
Looked at Tobias. He seemed... different, somehow. Not quite himself. Weird. It was the same face, same body, same red-tail that I had seen for three years. But something had changed... Something in his eyes...  
  
Tobias was a predator. Predators don't kill for pleasure or sport, they kill only to eat, to survive.  
  
I wasn't a predator, I told myself. I was the prey. I was the hunted, the Yeerks were the hunters.  
  
But that wasn't it.  
  
It was easy to say that the Yeerks were the predators, when they were infesting and enslaving human beings as unwilling servants of the Yeerk Empire. It was easy to say that they were predators when they were attacking the defenseless, ignorant human population. The Yeerks had been like invisible tigers in a population of grazing animals - unknown, silent, deadly, strong.  
  
But the human population was no longer defenseless or ignorant. Because of one alien.  
  
Because of Elfangor.  
  
Elfangor had given us the power to fight back.  
  
He had given us the morphing power to use the animal bodies of our planet to save ourselves, our species, our planet.  
  
But would he have given it to us if he had known that we were going to slaughter thousands of unhosted Yeerks?  
  
I looked at Cassie, her wolf's eyes were pleading with me, begging me to reconsider, to undo my decision. Strange. If I had just told Ax to flush the pool I would have never noticed her... She hadn't said anything yet...  
  
Cassie had long been the voice of morality in our group. But she had changed... she had given the Yeerks the morphing cube, gave them another weapon to use for destruction, and had begun to question her own morals... What could the rest of us do, when Cassie was questioning herself?  
  
And finally, finally, I heard her voice. The slaughter of seventeen thousand sentient creatures. What kind of person would order that?  
  
This is a necessary diversion, Prince Jake, Ax said somewhat impatiently, but not as though he was responding to Cassie. She had been speaking to me privately. But it was the same to me as a conversation. He was ready, willing, eager to kill the Yeerks. He was a good soldier, ready to put aside ethics and morality in the face of battle and victory.  
  
Couldn't let this happen, another moral discussion. We were so close, time was critical, it wasn't going to stand still for us to have this discussion.  
  
Cassie...  
  
No, Jake. Not yet. Just listen.  
  
Okay.  
  
Everything, all the decisions, the battles, could stop. Just stop.  
  
I listened.  
  
She began to speak. What happened to you, Jake? Cassie spoke to me, calmly. Like old times. Like we were having a talk, just she and I. You said our motto was "Defeat the Yeerks, don't become them." You told James that we had to win to stop the Yeerks from enslaving all life on Earth, and the Andalites from blowing it up. How is you slaughtering defenseless Yeerks any different than the Yeerks or the Andalites?  
  
I didn't say anything. I was too conflicted, too much in inner turmoil.  
  
The war has changed you, Jake. You had to take terrible risks and gambles. You were willing to sacrifice your loved ones. And knowing that you did that, you became darker, somehow. You made a deal with the enemy. You used hundreds of lives as a diversion. All that mattered to you was to win. No matter who died. You were prepared to be as ruthless, as merciless as you needed to be. You lost yourself in the destruction, the tactics, the victories.  
  
It had to happen, Cassie. It's a war...  
  
Don't lose it, Jake. Just because you told Rachel to kill Tom doesn't mean that nothing else matters. All those Yeerks are living, thinking creatures. Just like you and me. Just like Rachel. Just like Tom.  
  
Part of me wanted to argue. Part of me wanted to say, Cassie, we have to win, no matter what. But I looked around the room... at the others... at myself...  
  
Tobias, he had been through so much hardship, losing his family, his humanity. Ax, he hated them so much, his hatred blinded him from thinking clearly, of what he was doing. Marco, the war had done terrible things to him. He had gotten his mother back by being ruthless and nothing, nothing was going to stop him from being ruthless in the future.  
  
Cassie, who knowing me better than I know myself. I didn't want Cassie to let me alone, not this time, not ever again.  
  
Rachel... I had sent Rachel to certain death.  
  
And myself...  
  
I had lost my soul.  
  
Don't you see what you have done, Jake? What you were about to do? Don't you see who you have become? The war has destroyed your humanity. If you slaughter the Yeerks in that pool you will be known forever as Jake the Yeerk-Killer. Believe me, I know... The killing is going to stop sooner or later, but you have the power to stop it -now-. You're ready to sacrifice everyone to win the war. But what good is winning if everyone you know and love has been sacrificed? Don't let the cause take you over, Jake. You're not fighting to win. You are fighting to save Earth. You're fighting for freedom.  
  
Cassie came over and looked into my eyes.  
  
You've fallen into a hole, Jake. You've fallen and the only one who can rescue you is yourself.  
  
I can't get up, Cassie. I've fallen down for the last time.  
  
I can't. I need...  
  
I need you, Cassie.  
  
Where are you, Jake?  
  
I could feel the tremendous weight of decision falling upon me, like it had so many times before. My future, maybe even the outcome of the war, it all tottered on this single point.  
  
Where is the Jake I love?  
  
The haze began to lift...  
  
Cassie and me. Together...  
  
I remembered when I first met Cassie. Rachel had introduced me to her... Now Rachel was going to die. I remembered all the times she hugged me, had held my hand.  
  
I remembered when she kissed me, just after I had caused the death of that Howler. She was always balancing out destruction with love...  
  
That night I had tried to dream about Cassie, but even now, looking into her eyes, I still saw the doomed Howler falling, falling into an abyss. Just like me... Cassie had said that I had fallen into a hole... a darkness.  
  
The Howlers didn't know what they were doing, they thought that murder and killing was just a game. They didn't know that they were destroying the lives of so many sentient creatures... But I had redeemed them. We showed the Howlers the true results of their 'game', and the meaning of love...  
  
Looking into her eyes, the flailing Howler, facing death, facing an evil it couldn't comprehend, began to change.  
  
The lava skin seemed to melt even more. The Howler's skin became soft, smooth, its body shrinking slightly. It shapeshifted, pupils forming in its eyes. Morphing to human.  
  
Becoming me.  
  
The Howlers had been saved, had been pulled out of the well of ignorance, had been drawn out of the hole.  
  
I know he's in there somewhere.  
  
The clouds parted. The light shone through.  
  
I was saved.  
  
I was back.  
  
Time sped up.  
  
Cassie turned to Ax. Deactivate the flush sequence, Ax.  
  
There was a brief silence as Ax processed this, unbelieving.  
  
What?! He turned to her, shocked. These are the enemies-  
  
We're not touching those Yeerks, Cassie commanded firmly.  
  
Prince Ja-  
  
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, you heard what Cassie said. The visser knows we are attacking the bridge. We've created enough diversion, fought enough battles. I was his Prince. I was a soldier in a terrible war. I would fight. I would do what I could to win. But I would not slaughter thousands of sentient creatures. They weren't the evil overlords, choosing to doom all of Earth to subjugation. I knew best, you couldn't blame the many for the actions of the one.  
  
In this case, Visser One.  
  
Ax was stunned. Yes, Prince Jake.  
  
A good aspect of a soldier: Ax knew how to take an order.  
  
Come on, Ax, Marco, Tobias, to the bridge. We're done here.  
  
If we were human I would have taken Cassie's arm and hugged her tightly and never, ever let go. But she was a wolf and I was a tiger.  
  
For now, there was only one thing that I could do.  
  
Let's go, Cassie, I said. I love you.  
  
And that was enough.  
  
  
*****  
  
  
We arrived at the bridge.  
  
The Animorphs.  
  
Visser One was there, waiting for us, our old adversary. We knew he would be.  
  
He watched the blade ship approaching us. So, he said softly, still not dead.  
  
No, Visser. Not quite dead.  
  
As you see, my Blade ship is approaching.  
  
I don't think they'll be much help to you, Visser.  
  
No. It took me a while to see what had happened. But I see it now. The Blade ship will attack, and I am helpless. Animorphs, he said with hatred, I have lost, not to you, but to this Yeerk traitor. I would never lose to you. Only to another Yeerk, and then only by the lowest treason.  
  
I was going to suggest to him that he use the Dracon beams' remaining power to disable the Blade Ship. But something stopped me.  
  
Visser One's entire being seemed to vibrate. He seemed to be amassing his old hatred within him.  
  
He turned to face us, a horrible expression on his Andalite face. Sensors show that you have been in the Pool Room. You disabled the guards and deactivated the safety protocols for the flush procedure. You had the opportunity to wipe out the bulk of the Yeerk race!  
  
He was nearly screaming. But you didn't! You didn't! Soft, sentimental FOOLS! This is WAR! You don't win by sparing the lives of the ENEMY!  
  
We basically stood still, not quite knowing what to do.  
  
"Visser, the Blade Ship is hailing us."  
  
Yes, by all means, Visser One said, his manner changing, but his hatred and rage still present. We must play it out, he said sarcastically.  
  
Tom's face appeared on the screen, his voice speaking to the visser. But he was controlled by a Yeerk.  
  
How much agony could Tom be in, thinking that the Blade ship was about to crush its final foe? Knowing that the Yeerks were about to win?  
  
Tom's face betrayed no hint that his body was being controlled by a Yeerk, no evidence of conflict, of a struggle between host and parasite. The Yeerk was in complete control of Tom's body and voice.  
  
At least, it was then.  
  
"Visser," Tom gloated. "You seem to be experiencing some engine trouble." Tom seemed a little rocked at the Visser's mood but he kept his cool.  
  
The Empire will track you down and kill you, if I have not done so myself, I hope you understand.  
  
"Oh, I doubt it. I think the Empire will have its hands full," Tom's Yeerk said. "The Andalite fleet is rather close by. It's possible that I misled you on that point."  
  
He was practically giggling. He was in control. He had already won the final victory.  
  
And then he saw me.  
  
His eyes widened, his face showing nothing but shock and surprise.  
  
All at once, he knew.  
  
"You're not dead!" he gasped.  
  
I noticed, Visser One said dryly, but with barely concealed emotion.  
  
Tom snapped an order to his crew. "Target the Pool ship's bridge! Do it now! Blow their ship apart!"  
  
I looked at Tobias. I couldn't tell what he was feeling by his hawk face.  
  
But I could guess.  
  
And now, Animorphs, the visser said, so softly that none of us registered his voice, You will learn the true meaning of slaughter.  
  
Visser One began to change.  
  
Rachel... I said, unaware of the growing danger behind me, Go.  
  



	4. Victory and Defeat

Jake looked at me. Like he knew I was watching him.  
  
Rachel, he said. Go.  
  
I looked at Tobias.  
  
He didn't say anything.  
  
I waited. This was my last battle, my finest hour. He was going to say something to me, some parting word. He had to.  
  
Nothing.  
  
It was unsettling, made me uneasy inside. But I couldn't think about that right now... had to finish my morph...  
  
"Animorph!" someone shrieked.  
  
I did what I do better than anyone. What Jake counted on me to do.  
  
I attacked. Straight for Tom, on all fours, I charged. Straight for the enemy.  
  
I was supposed to damage the ship. But something about Tobias...  
  
Before Tom could react, I reared up and gave him a fierce backhand blow to the head, knocking him slumped on the floor, unconscious.  
  
I raised my paw to finish the job, but just then someone shot at me with a Dracon beam, a short burst.  
  
They were already taking aim again, but I was gone. Bears aren't all that agile though, and as the other Yeerks were beginning to morph, a solid laser beam tracked toward me. It damaged the ship, but not nearly as much as it would damage me if it connected.  
  
Fortunately for me, the bear's clumsiness didn't matter much in this case. I dropped to the floor and rolled behind the weapons station, a sort of waist-high lectern. The beam cut off abruptly, but that wasn't going to do at all. I slammed my full weight into it, not destroying it, just making sure that it wasn't going to be too useful anymore.  
  
It was no good for a hiding spot anymore, so I reared up and charged full-speed for the Yeerk with the Dracon beam. He probably could have destroyed me before I reached him, but there's something about having a ten-foot tall enraged creature of destruction heading at you that makes you want to hesitate a bit.  
  
He hesitated one second too long. In the blink of an eye I had batted his hand, the Dracon beam skidding across the polished floor, and speared the Controller with my claws, giving him an injury he wouldn't soon forget.  
  
I looked up. The remaining Yeerks had completed their morphs. I faced two lionesses, a cape buffalo, and a polar bear.  
  
For a wondrous, frozen moment, we all stared, breathed, tensed, expectant.  
  
I felt...  
  
Empty.  
  
I had fought for all my friends, always for our cause, always alongside them. I had always been the fiercest.  
  
"The war... You, Rachel, you -love- it. It's what makes you so deadly. It's what makes you so dangerous to the Yeerks."  
  
Jake had said that a long time ago. Was he right?  
  
I didn't know.  
  
I had always fought for my friends. Beside them. With them. And now this was my last battle...  
  
And I was on my own.  
  
But that was okay. I was saving my friends. I had protected them from the harsher parts of war before, I was doing the same thing now.  
  
They were safe, far, far away.  
  
I looked at the viewscreen. At the bridge of the Pool ship.  
  
There was no one in sight.  
  
No movement. No help.  
  
Just me and the enemy.  
  
Strange... emptiness...  
  
I turned back to the Yeerks.  
  
Unsure of myself. Losing focus.  
  
No, no, Rachel! Concentrate!  
  
The buffalo had geared up for a charge that would have crushed the air from my lungs, but at the last second I stepped away. He slammed into the bulkhead of the Blade ship, stunned. I bounded forward, and crashed into the side of the polar bear, driving my extended claws into the most vulnerable area: the heart.  
  
The heart...  
  
One more slash and the polar bear would be finished. But now the lionesses were on me, one of them on my face, clawing madly, while the other was sinking its teeth into my leg.  
  
I couldn't see. I reached up to slash the first lioness, but the buffalo had smashed into me again, throwing me sideways and stunning me. I turned around, but it was more by delirious action than choice.  
  
I saw the damaged polar bear changing. To demorph, into a healthy human body, ready to remorph and be as dangerous as ever.  
  
I shook my head violently and threw off the lioness that had been on my face. Tried to charge forward, towards the demorphing bear, but it was like slugging through molasses, the second lioness was all over my haunch, and the buffalo kept quickly batting me with fast, hard strikes. It was like I was a football player with half the other team tackling me.  
  
The buffalo slammed me in the knees, my hind legs buckling under me, falling. Blood everywhere. I was losing. No! Had to win... for my friends... but they were gone...  
  
With the remnants of the bear's might, I roared. I fell the rest of the way down, and landed on top of a lioness, crushing it. My paws met the remaining lion in mid-leap, piercing its fur and impaling it on my claws. I threw the huge cat towards the buffalo and barreled into both of them, smashing them against the cool steel of the Blade ship.  
  
But I had used up all my strength. I slumped backwards.  
  
I had thought the bear to be invincible.  
  
I knew now. Even the grizzly was not unstoppable.  
  
The polar bear loomed above me.  
  
My anger, my rage towards the enemy had made me strong. But hatred was not going to win this battle.  
  
Animorph, the polar bear said contemptuously. Human. Even with your morphing power, the Yeerks still prevail.  
  
Blood bubbling with each gasp. Breathing weak. Losing consciousness. Even dying, I was not going to surrender. Never give up. Defy your enemy till the last.  
  
Stand up for what you believe in.  
  
I had no hope. But I was not going to give in.  
  
I began to demorph. I knew I would be helpless. Yeerk would never let me remorph. Did it anyway.  
  
The polar bear lashed out with its claws. Bloody lines, scars raked across my face.  
  
I continued changing.  
  
Don't make me kill you, human, the polar bear growled.  
  
You're going to, anyway, I said.  
  
Yes, I am, the Yeerk said. But better to die as an animal. As a form that is not your true self. Better to perish as a deception, a fakery, a living lie. Face it, human, you have lost.  
  
It bashed me again. I fell back, battered, nearly human, but suffering.  
  
I lost... impossible odds... I was weakening.  
  
Animorph. It seems that I am alone in knowing the value of camaraderie. Where are your friends? Did they abandon you?  
  
No... never...  
  
Where are they, human? Still on the crippled pool ship? When you need them here the most? it said, mockingly. Deserted you?  
  
Jake. He knew, he was becoming like me, ruthless, I wanted to say, Jake, look at me, look at what I have become! Hatred leads to this, Jake. It leads to death.  
  
Cassie. I'm so sorry, for everything... I know you were just trying to do what's right... So was I, in my own way...  
  
Marco, funny Marco... Ax, brave and true...  
  
Tobias... Oh, God.  
  
I loved him, and I would never get to say goodbye.  
  
Never say goodbye.  
  
The polar bear slammed me again... the world, swooning...  
  
I would die here. They would never have a chance to save me. Where were they? Were they even alive?  
  
Would they even know?  
  
I was human once more, weak, but uninjured. The Yeerk could kill me at any time now. It was agony, knowing that I had lost, was already defeated. It was torture.  
  
Torture.  
  
You fought well, human, it said, leeringly. Too bad no one's here to save you.  
  
It raised up its claws to kill me.  
  
Noooooooo!  
  
And staggered.  
  
It whirled around, facing...  
  
RACHEL!  
  
I was lying there, helpless, half unconscious, on the floor. I saw, through distorted, bleary eyes, another polar bear, like some twisted, mirror image of the first.  
  
The Yeerk fought, but the Controller was just fighting another battle. Just another part of the war.  
  
Tobias was fighting for me.  
  
He roared. With awesome rage he attacked the other bear relentlessly, slamming his body against his opponent, blocking his every move, slashing, ripping, crushing his enemy.  
  
For me.  
  
I morphed to grizzly, to press the attack. For Tobias. For my friends.  
  
Animorphs, he said in a rasping voice, reeling from our combined assault. Weak, pitiful, attempt to resist the Empire.  
  
Weak when divided, maybe, Yeerk.  
  
But strong when united. Tobias said.  
  
The Yeerk lashed out with a paw, desperate. Tobias parried the blow, and I counterattacked with a stab at his heart. He wasn't going to fall for that twice...  
  
The heart... the Yeerk had learned that it was vulnerable to attack...  
  
I had thought that war had no room for emotion, for love, for kindness. War was a merciless onslaught, battle after endless battle.  
  
But then I remembered Erek. The Pemalites.  
  
The Pemalites, who had let themselves be destroyed rather than turn their Chee into killers.  
  
What if they had? What if they had let their androids slaughter the Howlers? They would have survived, but at a terrible cost. After the war was over, what would they do? They had created monsters.  
  
Monsters. With no feeling. No emotion. Just a blind killing machine, without feelings, without souls.  
  
I thought of Tobias. He was a predator. He killed to survive. Because he had to... given a choice, if he was suddenly released from the burden of a predator, he would choose life. Peace. Over death and destruction.  
  
What would happen to me when the war was over? I needed the war. The enemy was my prey. I killed to survive. But when the prey ran out? What would happen to me?  
  
Had I become a monster?  
  
I had thought, like the Yeerk, that the heart was a weakness. Physically and emotionally.  
  
If I continued to think that, I would be destroyed. I had nearly been already.  
  
As Tobias and I fought, side by side, I knew that the heart was not a weakness.  
  
I realized in that moment, with Tobias - it wasn't hate that made me strong. It was love.  
  
I was protecting the others from the dark parts of the war, from having to be ruthless, and knowing that I was defending them, guarding their consciences, made me mighty.  
  
The Yeerk polar bear was strong, but it was no match for the combined power of another polar bear and a grizzly. In a few seconds it would be over.  
  
Tobias knocked the Yeerk down. It crumpled, knocked out by our attacks. I raised my paw... my claws...  
  
He looked at me. Questioningly.  
  
He expected that I would kill the Yeerk. The enemy.  
  
I looked at Tobias. I lowered my paw.  
  
He came over to me. Locked his gaze on to mine.  
  
Tobias was still looking at me as he changed from the eyes of a bear, to the incredibly focused laser vision of a hawk, to the eyes of a human.  
  
I demorphed as well.  
  
He didn't have to ask his question. I knew what it was.  
  
The war had changed me. Changed all of us, but especially me. I had grown to need the battles, the killing, the fights. The victories.  
  
I had become dark. Here and there, I was still caring, kind, humane. But mostly, I had become as merciless as a Yeerk.  
  
I had killed. We all had, when necessary. But sometimes, I had been pushed over the edge. Mostly it had been to protect the group. Other times...  
  
Now it was finally starting to come over me. The conscience. The guilt.  
  
But I had always known what I was fighting for. What I cared for. Who I loved.  
  
Tobias, I... I mean, when I thought that I was dead, I was just...  
  
I know, Rachel. I love you, too, he said.  
  
I smiled. Probably the first real smile in a long, long time.  
  
And I knew, I knew that he was proud of me.  
  
For me, the real battle hadn't been against the Yeerks. It had been against myself. Against the darkness within me.  
  
After all this time... so many defeats, where I had given in to the anger... the rage...  
  
But I had not let the darkness absorb me, and I had not given in to Crayak.  
  
I had finally won.  
  
Tobias put his arm around me sideways. I turned and hugged him. He held me close, close to his heart.  
  
I wish the moment had lasted forever. I was with Tobias, we were alive, together, and we - both of us - were finally happy.  
  
Unfortunately, it didn't last long.  
  
But... how? How did you get here, Tobias? I saw you back on the Pool ship!  
  
He smiled mysteriously. Rachel. Remember when David 'killed' me?  
  
I remembered all too well the time two years ago, David's betrayal. His entrapment. Yeah, it was a real red-tail. But... oh. Who morphed you?  
  
James, he said smugly. He needed to be there in my place.  
  
Why? So I wouldn't know until the last moment possible? I said, half jokingly and half annoyed.  
  
Actually... that's kind of close to it. Cassie had to-  
  
But I didn't let him finish his sentence. No matter what happened to us, I wanted him to know how I felt. I pulled him closer to me, and kissed him on the lips.  
  
"How touching," a voice sneered.  
  
We broke away from each other instantly and spun around to face the speaker.  
  
Tom!  
  
With a Dracon beam.  
  
"One movement and you - both of you - die," Tom said.  
  
I glanced at the viewscreen. Jake wasn't there, but it was no longer empty. It was now occupied by our arch enemy, the leader of the Yeerk forces.  
  
I now saw the Yeerk who had survived, despite everything, stealing his Andalite body, moving up through the ranks, slaughtering, murdering, enslaving, to gain control.  
  
The creature who had nearly destroyed us several times.  
  
The bane of the human race.  
  
Visser One.  
  
But not in his Andalite form. Visser One was currently the size of a tank, and by the looks of it, with roughly the same power. I was not surprised.  
  
"In fact, why don't I just kill you right now?"  
  
Tom's finger tightened on the contact.  
  
All of a sudden, the war was far from over.  



	5. Honor Bound

Those of us on the bridge viewed the commencement of the battle aboard the Blade ship. The conflict was the six morph-capable Yeerks versus Rachel.  
  
It was suicide.  
  
We were all shocked when we had heard that Rachel had pursued Tom to his Blade ship. But it was not until now that we realized the significance of this moment.  
  
Rachel would die.  
  
We observed Rachel. Her sudden appearance, surprising the Yeerks, catching them off-guard. We witnessed her as she disabled the ship's weapons and rendered a human-Controller with a Dracon beam unconscious. We all felt her rage, the hopeless fury of a person facing sure death.  
  
This emotion was not unknown to me.  
  
My name is Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. I am a young Andalite, though in many ways, not quite so young as when I first arrived on Earth.  
  
I have often felt a sort of kinship between Rachel and I. In some ways we were the only true warriors, the only Animorphs that welcomed the war, the battles. Of course, I was not nearly as reckless.  
  
I fought against parasitic enemies that had betrayed my people's trust and desecrated our honor.  
  
I did not know Rachel's motivations for her feelings toward the war. I was not sure that I wished to know.  
  
And of course, for myself, there was the single, overwhelming reason why I fought so fiercely. Of course the Yeerks had fought and destroyed thousands of Andalites, but there was a more personal level as well.  
  
The name Visser One had used to belong to the Yeerk that had infested Marco's mother. The old Visser One had preferred a subtle invasion, willing to refrain from utilizing direct force in favor of a slow, secret, gradual infestation.  
  
That Visser One had been replaced by a new Yeerk, Esplin 9466, formerly known as Visser Three.  
  
It was this Yeerk who now held the title of Visser One.  
  
It was this Yeerk who led the current invasion of Earth.  
  
It was this Yeerk who murdered my brother, Prince Elfangor-Sirinal-Shamtul.  
  
By Andalite law, as the next eldest, I was required to avenge his death.  
  
I had to kill Visser One.  
  
But of course it was to be anything but simple. Visser One inhabited the most powerful host body available, a morph-capable, agile, dangerous, experienced Andalite warrior. His host, his ruthlessness, and his ambition contributed to his being lead commander of the Earth-based Yeerk forces.  
  
Visser One was extremely deadly in his natural Andalite body. But rarely did he choose to remain in that form for the purposes of combat. Instead, he often chose one of his wide variety of enormous, lethal morphs from the far reaches of the galaxy.  
  
Even as we watched Rachel's final battle, Visser One was silently morphing. We had thought him to be defeated, lacking his will to go on. It was the typical Yeerk tenet: fight until the situation is hopeless, and then surrender.  
  
But Visser One did not become our worst enemy by being a typical Yeerk.  
  
The human Animorphs were in their various battle morphs: a hawk, a wolf, a gorilla, and a tiger.  
  
All of these predators had a single pair of eyes, and all four pairs were trained toward the onset of Rachel's last battle.  
  
Even I did not notice the Visser until the last moment possible.  
  
Prince Jake had denied the Visser the one and only thing that the Yeerk truly valued: victory. Thus it was that a colossal monstrosity, an embodiment of the rage that emanated from Visser One, came into being, a living creature of hatred and evil.  
  
The beast that was the Visser barely had a tangible form. It was more like a gigantic cloud of ethereal mist. Black as the darkest night, it turned my resolve to despair, my bravery to fear.  
  
Prince Jake! I cried.  
  
Prince Jake jerked away from his viewing of the carnage, looking instead toward me.  
  
What-  
  
Then the cloud moved toward Prince Jake, and he fell silent. His tiger eyes widened. Even though he was a top predatory animal, I could clearly discern the emotion he must have been feeling.  
  
Terror. What kind of an organism could do this?  
  
His tiger fur paled, his eyes lost their fire, and he slowly slumped down, twitching. Unconscious. Dying.  
  
This creature was not an enemy. This was death incarnate.  
  
A wisp of mist brushed against me, and I screamed inwardly. It was as if every hope, every ray of light and kindness had been sucked out of my body.  
  
Suddenly, I was in a very different place.  
  
On the first fateful day, when my brother Elfangor had crash-landed his fighter near the five human Animorphs, I had not been present. I had not been there to witness their transformation through the Escafil device. I had not been there to see my brother's death at the hands of Visser Three.  
  
But now, locked, trapped within my own mind, I was replaying, over and over again, my brother - my loyal, strong, perfect brother - being murdered at the hands of Visser Three.  
  
I was paralyzed with fear. The monster could not be fought. The monster could not be stopped. It was terrible.  
  
It was a nightmare.  
  
And I had only touched a wisp of this wretch! I was made immobile by the very thought of being in this terrible creature's grasp again.  
  
One by one, I saw my fellow Animorphs fall. Unconsciously, they demorphed to their original forms, locked in their own nightmares, caged in their own heads.  
  
I could only imagine... Marco, the many instances where his mother was trapped, a slave in her own body, while he waited, helpless...  
  
Cassie, each and every time she was forced to hurt a sentient creature... and when she had created the plan that sentenced David to a lifetime of imprisonment in the body of a rat...  
  
James. We had thought the quiet red-tailed hawk to be Tobias in his natural state, but it was instead James in one of his morphs. James, who had lived disabled until recently, and then was forced to lead his only friends into a war where he was, ultimately, the only survivor.  
  
And Prince Jake. I had noticed that, as the war climaxed, Jake had become very much like Rachel, with a hard ruthlessness that surprised and alarmed me at times. But now, Prince Jake no longer seemed a leader of the Earth forces. He appeared very much so as he had at the beginning of this war, a young human, innocent to the knowledge of how power corrupts sentient creatures, innocent to war.  
  
Visser One drifted over to me like a dreadful, inevitable cataclysm.  
  
I was frozen with dread.  
  
I felt this unholy demon extracting my very life force from within me.  
  
I was dying.  
  
Images of my life flowed out of my mind... my essence was being sucked out of my body. I saw them as the Visser absorbed my pitiful, weak memories... my life at home... of the beautiful blue-green meadow we lived in... my family's scoop... my parents... leaving my home, excited but sad... leaving my childhood behind forever.  
  
All being sucked out like the vacuum of space.  
  
And my brother.  
  
Elfangor. He was a legend. A hero.  
  
It was the one warm spot in the blackness of night. But it was all I had.  
  
He was my idol, my ambition, my brother. I had wanted to become a warrior so badly because of him. I wanted to be like Elfangor.  
  
It was not to be.  
  
I had loved my brother. He had been murdered, helpless, at the hands of this parasite.  
  
For this, I hated Visser One.  
  
At times I had thought the humans to be too emotional for their own benefit. But I had learned from the humans. I had learned one very important fact.  
  
Love and hate are the most powerful forces of all.  
  
The escaping memories halted, sticking at the image of Elfangor, who he was, and what he stood for.  
  
The stream of thought began to reverse. My soul flowed back into my body. The warm spot grew in a midst of blackness.  
  
The mist had no eyes, no face. But I looked at it.  
  
The human Animorphs' bravery, in their morphed forms, had been weakened by being in a form not true to their own... or perhaps they, as I had, fell prey to the dark memories within.  
  
I faced the evil that was Visser One.  
  
I focused my thoughts as much as I could on the face of my brother.  
  
Strength. Integrity. Bravery. Honor. Sacrifice.  
  
It is these virtues toward which a warrior strives.  
  
Elfangor wielded them all.  
  
Fear makes you weak. This creature forced me to face my fears.  
  
I did.  
  
The Visser looked at me, arrogantly, but inquisitively. The other had fallen to their doom, weakened beyond repair. Why hadn't I?  
  
I looked right at the Abomination.  
  
I stood up. Trained all four eyes onto the Visser.  
  
The cloud showed no expression. But I knew what the Visser was feeling.  
  
I arched my tail blade. Took on a combat stance.  
  
The Visser looked into my eyes. Through them, examining me. The mist surrounded me, but did not touch me.  
  
Then it shrank back with fear.  
  
It had seen in my eyes what I knew was there.  
  
Elfangor! it hissed.  
  
I was silent. I sensed fear.  
  
The mist coalesced into a solid form.  
  
That of an Andalite.  
  
You can kill a hero, Yeerk. But they never really die.  
  
I stepped closer to him. Elfangor was kind, and brave, and true. And he was my brother.  
  
Silence.  
  
The Visser was strangely silent. Contemplating, I assume, the state of the situation at hand.  
  
But then his evil determination arose once more. As I knew it would.  
  
This creature, in a form so familiar, and yet so false! A mixture of fakery and deadly reality.  
  
Locked in each other's gaze, the Visser accepted my challenge.  
  
So be it, Andalite.  
  
We moved around each other, circling, waiting for the first strike, the primary offensive, wondering which of us would begin a battle that one of us would not see to completion.  
  
FWAPP! He struck! His huge tail blade whipped over his shoulder, a slash that would have cut me in two had I not blocked it.  
  
I riposted his blow, slashing sideways, aiming for his neck. That attempt, too, was blocked.  
  
FWAPP! FWAPP! FWAPP! With split-second timing, we threw slashes and blunt attacks at each other's most vulnerable spots, each barely able to hold our own.  
  
He was slightly larger. But I had matured physically in the last three years as well. It was a rather fair fight.  
  
For once.  
  
The Visser struck! A mighty blow, tearing my fur across my side, leaving bloody gashes. I slashed back, but weakened from the loss of blood, the attack was slower than its potential, and was easily blocked. Another powerful slash, barely stopped by me, and my shoulder was cut into.  
  
But the third strike I parried, pushed forward. I slashed relentlessly, gaining the upper hand. I struck and struck and struck, the Visser desperately evading my tail blade.  
  
FWAPP!  
  
I was wrong. It was not a fair fight.  
  
The Visser had only his own ambition. His underlings followed him not out of trust, but out of fear.  
  
I had my friends.  
  
And a brother to be avenged.  
  
Feeling my legs as light rods, I nimbly dodged his blows. Feeling the strength of my tail, I struck out with might. Feeling my vengeance, my honor at stake, I pressed the attack.  
  
The Visser, nervous, finally losing his confidence, his coordination, overextended his strike towards my left. A terrible mistake.  
  
It would be his last.  
  
As I leapt to my right, I whipped my tail forward, and pressed the blade against his neck.  
  
Andalite! he said breathlessly. Stop!  
  
I held my position.  
  
How would your Animorph friends feel if you killed me now? You bandits have already won. I am a prisoner of war. How would they view you, Andalite, if you killed me now in cold blood? Let me live, and spare their contempt for your ruthlessness! the Visser said.  
  
I thought briefly of the Visser's words. Perhaps... perhaps they would think badly of me. Jake had spared the Yeerks in the pool. Was it not better to save as many lives as possible?  
  
I was contemplating how the Visser could repent, when I noticed something that both saved my life and convinced me that some people never change.  
  
My stalk eyes barely sensed his movement that could have destroyed all. But I glimpsed the other's tail blade moving into position, and there was still evil in the Visser's eyes and hearts.  
  
I don't think they will object too much, I said, my own conviction halting the Visser's treacherous advance.  
  
My hearts blazed. This was my vengeance. This was my right. This was my duty.  
  
For your betrayal of my people's trust. For your desecration of our honor. For your murder and enslavement of thousands of sentient peoples.  
  
I moved closer, my face inches from his, my tail blade at his throat. I spoke the words that had burned inside me for so long.  
  
This is for my brother!  
  
FWAPP!  
  
The Visser had had enough. He was exiting his host in desperation! But my tail was already swinging forward, and I could only deflect it slightly. My tail had severely damaged the Andalite body, a mortal wound.  
  
The Andalite was infested no longer.  
  
I was facing War-Prince Alloran.  
  
He brought his eyes into focus. Aristh Aximili... I... I thank you. He was weakened from my blow.  
  
War-Prince Alloran, you must morph to save yourself! I have-  
  
He cut me off. No time, aristh, he said weakly. I have not the heart... Blood was seeping out through the terrible gash on his neck.  
  
He looked up at me. It was strange, as I, an aristh, looked down upon him, a legendary War-Prince.  
  
I was confused.  
  
The heart?  
  
Alloran answered me, his thought speak voice faint but determined. Have not you realized it, young Aximili? When you morph, when you change your physical body, you are merely reflecting what is in your mind. When your human friends fight, their animal forms are the embodiment of the human force of will. Don't you see?  
  
Tobias... in his hawk morph, trapped forever, but somehow freed. Rachel... as her grizzly bear, fierce and raging. Cassie... who had chosen not to acquire a battle morph beyond her basic wolf... she hated the war, but fought to preserve her planet. Marco... whose morph was so similar to human that he could fully experience the emotional loss of his mother. And Prince Jake... silent by choice, leading by nature.  
  
I was drawn back to the situation by Alloran's words, And Visser One, who chooses to morph only the most destructive and evil forms his minions can discover.  
  
War-Prince Alloran, you are free now! You can morph and live, free from his control!  
  
But he just smiled sadly. Aristh... war does terrible things to people. It changes them. It corrupts them. Visser One, he was fascinated by Andalites! He could have been a brilliant artist, or a philosopher... but he was drawn to the addiction of power. Drawn into the death trap of war. For myself, I have committed terrible sins. I, too, have been destroyed by war. I, too, have been seduced by victory. I released the Quantum virus that slaughtered the Hork-Bajir, thinking myself a champion, but instead slaying the true heroine, Aldrea. In seeking to win by destruction, I crossed the fine line between good and evil. By considering sentient creatures mere pawns in a game, and not as living, breathing, caring people, I lost everything. He whispered, looking into my eyes, I am more of a monster than Visser One ever was.  
  
I looked at the great warrior, and saw grief, and pain, and suffering.  
  
I have seen the slaughter that my deeds have brought upon this universe. I deserve to die. But so does another. Aximili... I could barely hear him. You defeated his evil. You defeated his strength and skill. Now go, and bring justice to my enslaver.  
  
I held his gaze. I wanted him to know that I understood.  
  
And the War-Prince Alloran-Semitur-Corrass died. Just like my brother.  
  
I looked at the creature that we had seen in many different forms, but who had always been consumed by constant evil.  
  
This was a war. Soldiers fought. Killing was inevitable, and we had always tried to minimize the casualties. But the soldiers were not evil.  
  
The leaders were not, either, but they held the responsibility, and they faced the consequences of their actions.  
  
Evil was not a single person, but a terrible, terrible force that enslaved and controlled to a further extent than a Yeerk ever could. It had manifested itself clearly in this being.  
  
Strangely, I did not feel malice toward the Yeerk, but instead, pity. A strange remorse.  
  
"This is a war," Toby had said quietly, with her seer wisdom. "There is no question that people will die. The only question is, who?"  
  
Her words echoed through my head.  
  
I grabbed the Visser's slug body and tossed it into the air.  
  
It was in many pieces before it hit the ground.  
  



	6. Hope Fails

"In fact, why don't I just kill you right now?"  
  
Tom aimed the Dracon beam at us.  
  
Or rather, the Yeerk in his head did.  
  
Rachel and I held very, very still.  
  
I knew we were finished. I knew that my strange life was finally coming to an end, as it probably should have long before. Without Rachel, I had nothing to live for. As long as I died defending her, I was ready to accept my death.  
  
Rachel wasn't.  
  
"You can kill us, Yeerk, but you're powerless to harm the others." Rachel, as usual, believed in taking control of the situation, no matter the odds. I like that about her. But it wasn't going to help us now. "You may find that you have a bit of trouble firing the Dracon beams," she said calmly, gesturing toward the destroyed weapons station. Her rock-solid expression showed nothing, but I knew better.  
  
Tom briefly glanced at the crushed pile of metal. Then he sneered.  
  
"I'm really quite disappointed in you humans. I was expecting more of a challenge." He began pacing across the bridge, pondering his next action, all the while keeping the Dracon beam pointed toward us.  
  
"He's blustering, bluffing," Rachel said quietly to me. I wasn't at all sure that I agreed, but then I saw that familiar fire in Rachel's eyes.  
  
What is it? I asked her in thought-speak. After all, my human form was just a morph.  
  
At least, it was then.  
  
"Jake," she whispered.  
  
I was confused, but she couldn't explain, because Tom had chosen that moment to stop walking and look straight at us. "Fools. Did you really think that, after three years of war, we wouldn't bolster our forces?"  
  
"What is he talking about?" Rachel said, a little too loudly.  
  
I have no idea, I replied. I couldn't say more because I was in the middle of another thought-speak conversation.  
  
Tom laughed. "Oh, don't worry, Cousin Rachel. You'll find out in due time. Meanwhile, I expect that Big Jake and the rest of your little band have made stardust out of our old friend Visser One. I should thank them. Let's take a look, shall we?"  
  
On the viewscreen we could clearly see Jake, Marco, Cassie, and James, all demorphed and unconscious, and Ax, seemingly nursing his wounds, standing near the remains of Visser One. I felt the pain he was feeling, the pain inside that came from having entered combat with two other beings, and being the sole survivor, alive, and yet somehow scarred forever.  
  
"Ah, the Andalite. So nice of him to dispose of the Visser for me. Computer. Begin Zero-Space transmission to all Yeerk spacecraft in Sector Three."  
  
I shot a look at Rachel.   
  
"Zero-Space communication commencing. You may begin your message," the electronic voice said.  
  
Tom smiled maniacally, with the kind of evil smile that only occurs when your only desire is to subjugate, to rule, to control, to kill all that defy your will. With a chill, I realized what was happening. In nature, when the leader of a group of animals dies, one of the others will come forward and show his dominance. Tom wasn't giving us a chance to live. He merely wanted to make sure that Visser One was dead before assuming control.  
  
I realized something else, too. In the past, we could almost feel Visser One's presence by the evil that surrounded him and corrupted him. Now I felt that same evil from Tom.  
  
And thus, he proclaimed the doom of our planet.  
  
"To all Yeerk craft: I bring the regretful news that the Animorph bandits on Earth have slain our leader Visser One. As Security Chief of his forces, I hereby declare that all craft immediately exit zero space and reenter normal space at the vector provided. End transmission."  
  
Tom wasn't going to kill us yet. He would give us the ultimate torture. We would watch our friends die. We would watch as the last hope of our planet was crushed.  
  
"Computer. Blank the viewscreen."  
  
We could now see directly into the vastness of space. And to my horror, I saw them. I saw them appear, some flying from Earth, but most materializing all around us from the blackness of space.  
  
Spaceships.  
  
A hundred Bug fighters, small but deadly with their serrated parts that held the Dracon beams.  
  
Half a dozen Blade ships, nearly invincible, four times larger than the Bug fighters.  
  
Twenty craft that looked like smaller, faster Blade ships.  
  
And finally, three Pool ships, the massive, sprawling mother ships of the Yeerk race.  
  
It must have been the entire Yeerk fleet.  
  
This was the Yeerks' final plan. They knew the Andalites were coming. They were ready for them. We had never stood a chance. We were fools to think that by taking one Pool ship, we could ever hope to win.  
  
"You took us by surprise, Cousin. I hadn't expected you to stoop so low as to make an assassination attempt upon me. Kind of flattering, in a way. To think you were so close in succeeding, I might not even have had a chance to call the fleet from Zero-Space if you had killed me. But you didn't. War is clean, isn't it, Rachel? You don't kill. You don't murder. It's not your fault, it's those evil Yeerks, isn't it? Well, all around us is the result of your refusal to fight. Yes, Rachel," he said, his eyes and words taunting, "it is -your- fault that you lost the battle. Just because you wanted to be a good little girl. Didn't want to give in to your inner evil, to your hatred? Well, look what happened."  
  
Rachel stood fast, but her voice wavered slightly. "I won't win by hatred, Yeerk. It would destroy me just as much as I could have destroyed you."  
  
"Well, I see hatred as a stepping stone to victory, and I'm no worse off. Apparently it is not as bad as you think, Cousin," Tom said. "But let's not spend more time reminiscing about what could have been. Instead, we can talk of Earth's glorious future - as the main base of the Yeerk Empire!"  
  
Rachel let go some choice words.  
  
Tom nodded. "I see." Then, "Goodbye, Rachel." Setting the Dracon Beam to medium power, he fired.  
  
TSEEEEWW!  
  
Fortunately, his attention had been on Rachel, and I had moved to the side, out of his direct line of sight. There was no time to morph, but I grabbed some of the destroyed weapons station, and hurled it at Tom, knocking his aim wild.  
  
Tom whirled around and snarled at me, a pure animal reaction of uncontrolled fury. This time, however, it was Rachel who leapt on top of Tom's back and slammed him to the ground, trying to wrestle the Dracon beam away from him. But Tom was bigger, stronger, and he merely shoved Rachel off his back and toward me.  
  
By this time, Tom was sweating from the sudden exertion of force.  
  
"You put up a fight, Animorphs. But you have lost."  
  
He raised the Dracon beam for the last time.  
  
Rachel was crying.  
  
I love you, I said.  
  
  
*******  
  
(Cassie)  
  
  
Oh, God.  
  
Everything was going wrong.  
  
Nothing was the way I'd planned it to be.  
  
Rachel was alive, but in about two seconds she and Tobias would die. And all of us would follow suit very soon after.  
  
The Andalites were too late. And when they would finally come, the Yeerks would crush them. Once and for all.  
  
Why had I done this? You couldn't mess with time. There were just too many complications, too many possibilities.  
  
I had been so arrogant to think that I could single-handedly save Rachel.  
  
And now, because of my arrogance, my friends would die and the remaining free humans on Earth would be enslaved.  
  
Rachel hadn't killed Tom. Why, why, why hadn't she?  
  
Then I realized: she underwent the same transformation that Jake had.  
  
Jake and Rachel had been saved, but how much had been sacrificed for them?  
  
I saw the hundreds of enemy spaceships.  
  
Then I looked at the Animorphs. Three unconscious. Two on the verge of death. One, a creature from another planet. And Jake.  
  
We were just kids, really. But somehow, over the last three years, we had become much more.  
  
We had become not only the defense of all humans, but also, a sort of living extension of Earth itself.  
  
But no morph was powerful enough to combat the evil Yeerk Empire at its strongest.  
  
I had saved our souls. But we had lost the war.  
  
All war is the same, more or less. In the Civil War, thousands of slaves were freed, but thousands more died. It was the single most devastating war in our nation's history.  
  
And as I witnessed the final moments of the last defense of Earth, I remembered an old saying...  
  
At what price freedom?  
  
War was terrible even when you won. But we had lost.  
  
I looked at the dark blanket of space, speckled with stars, beautiful but deadly. There was no hope to be found. And now there was no longer hope within us.  
  
We had lost the war.  
  
Perhaps the price had been too high.  
  
  



	7. Through the Tears

(Tobias)  
  
Tom raised the Dracon beam for the last time.  
  
Rachel was crying.  
  
I love you, I said.  
  
I waited...  
  
And yet... as he squeezed the trigger... the closer Tom came to firing, the harder it seemed to become for him. His whole body tensed up... beads of sweat rolled down his forehead, as though it was an immense effort to control his fingers...  
  
Maybe it was...  
  
I breathed again. I had thought that war was lost forever.  
  
I knew now that the battle for freedom continued.  
  
Only this time, it was taking place inside a human head...  
  
  
  
*****  
  
(Tom)  
  
  
My name is Tom Berenson.  
  
The slug that controls my every action is the top Security Chief for the late Visser One. That evil creature has made me a prisoner. I am a slave trapped inside my own mind.  
  
I am a Controller.  
  
I have been for more than three years. Three years of a life that was no longer mine to be a part of.  
  
I watched helplessly as my body was passed on to each new Yeerk. I was assimilated into the Yeerk Empire as a host. The Yeerk that infested me passed as a normal human every day. No one suspected me of being a Controller - not my friends, not even my own family. Or so I thought.  
  
At first I didn't believe that these Yeerks had any real chance of taking over the planet. I figured that someone had to find out eventually, and alert the government, or whatever.  
  
But I was wrong. Every day more and more humans became Controllers. Like me. Every day the Yeerk pool had more cages, more helpless host bodies, mere tools of the Yeerks. Like me.  
  
Just a tool. Just a part. Just a machine. Only a pawn in some larger game.  
  
The Yeerks were sweeping the human race like a tsunami, starting innocently as a small swell, then growing larger and more powerful, until by the time we would realize what was happening, it would be too late to escape.  
  
And we, the human-Controllers, were the automatons that were making it happen against our will. We were the front seat observers of the conquering of our own species.  
  
Those few individuals who discovered the Yeerk threat were infested or killed.  
  
I've tried to resist the Yeerk's control. I have all but failed. Here and there, when the Yeerk was either distracted, or very emotional, rarely for a Yeerk, I could slip in and for a split second I was back in control. But then the Yeerk would regain his hold upon me, as always, and put me through mental torture as such that I had never imagined. It would taunt me. It would show me how easily it deceived real humans. It would look into my deepest memories, my hopes and dreams, shattered like glass, all crushed beneath the arrogance of this slug.  
  
Even with the most recent turning of events, when the Animorphs, led by my brother, had come so close to winning the war, they were shown how far they really were from their victory.  
  
Far.  
  
The Yeerk raised the Dracon beam. Pointed it at my cousin and her fellow Animorph.  
  
This was his victory! He was in an ecstasy of pure ruthless Yeerk triumph and arrogance unleashed. And he was both very distracted and very emotional.  
  
Now was the time. Now was the moment.  
  
The Yeerk tried to squeeze the contact. I resisted.  
  
Push!  
  
With all my might, I fought to gain control.  
  
But my effort was in vain. For I was blindly groping at the tendrils of control that the Yeerk clutched so tightly. I couldn't see what I knew was there. Mentally, I reached out, but with a miniscule effort, the Yeerk tugged them from my grasp.  
  
The Yeerk laughed. Foolish human! Trying to take what is rightfully mine again? Have three years taught you nothing? You are mine to command, slave! Well, this time you will pay for such disobedience with your cousin's life!  
  
Again he attempted to fire the weapon, and all would have been lost had not the other Animorph, Tobias, said his last good bye.  
  
I love you, he said to Rachel.  
  
And by some miracle, he thought-spoke just loudly enough for me to hear. The Yeerk, but the real me, too.  
  
The real me.  
  
No!  
  
Something snapped inside me, then. Some kind of barrier broke. This kid, this child Tobias, had been dragged from a terrible home life into an interstellar war, and he wasn't bitter or hateful. Instead, he had become a true warrior, and now, at the end of his life, he had chosen not to strike back with hate, but instead give his final sentiments to the one he loved.  
  
I knew that I had become a mere shell of a person. And I realized that I had lost myself. I had lost my will to survive.  
  
That act of love touched a part of me ... deep inside... a part that I had nearly forgotten in my years of slavery, a part that did not exist in the Yeerk. It touched the child deep inside, that part of everyone that loves without question, that hopes without reason, that believes in miracles. The part that most of us grow out of, and too few of us never do...  
  
And suddenly... the light was turned on... and I could see! I no longer groped in the darkness... I knew where to reach... I stretched out again for the reins of control.  
  
The Yeerk screamed, full of rage, Get out of the way, human!  
  
No, I said. Not this time. This time you lose, Yeerk. This time, you die.  
  
The Yeerk, enraged, pulled them out of my reach. I struggled for them again, but the Yeerk's evolved process of controlling domination was infinitely stronger, built into their very beings.  
  
Foolish slave. No human has -ever- resisted the absolute control of a Yeerk. And I assure you, you won't be the first. Wave good-bye to your species, he gloated.  
  
My body had tensed up, muscles contracted, from the strain of two intelligent beings trying to control it in very different manners. Now, against my will, the Dracon beam rose once more. I knew finally, that I was truly nothing more than a slave.  
  
And I gave in to the Yeerk's cerebral propaganda that had haunted me for so long... I accepted the supreme truth... I was not a person... I was not a human... I was not a sentient creature... I did not care or feel... I did not hope... I did not love... my only and sole purpose was to be an instrument for my Yeerk.  
  
The child shifted towards the background, became a foolish image of an unreal fantasy world which no longer existed...  
  
I gave in...  
  
As the last of my resolve faded and the Yeerk coldness rose to power, as the final conflict of Yeerk and host dwindled to nothing, as the confused mental cacophony of sound ultimately gave way to silence...  
  
There arose a single voice.  
  
My brother's.  
  
I had heard it many times through a sort of filter since I had become a Controller, as the Yeerk's presence fogged it and all other input from reaching me fully. I only dimly registered the sound in the back of my mind...  
  
"Tom."  
  
He called my name. I mechanically noted that he was sobbing, crying, pleading. But they were influences of emotion... meaningless inflections of tone...  
  
Emotion was nothing. Servitude was all.  
  
"Tom."  
  
Again and again, I listened to his voice, artificially reproduced by the Blade ship, traveling over the vast intercom gap of space between the two spacecraft. But suddenly he was much closer.  
  
Much, much closer.  
  
I must have imagined it. It couldn't have been real. But I swear his arms extended. He reached out for me, and I to him, and suddenly it didn't matter how far away we were anymore...  
  
I felt it as though I was under water. I could see his hand up in the clear air, so close, but distorted, shifting. All I had to do was reach for it... but I couldn't pass through the shimmering barrier...  
  
And then his face came into my limited view. Jake. My brother.  
  
The last of the child had left him. He had become a general. The other extreme from Tobias. A cold, calculating, ruthless fighter.  
  
War had destroyed what was left of the child inside him. The part of Tobias that had so touched me did not exist anymore in my brother. He had sacrificed himself for his people...  
  
Through it all, after all his battles, all his life-and-death decisions, he could still feel sadness. The special sadness that comes from sacrificing so much, fighting so hard, and yet still watching three loved ones die.  
  
He looked into my eyes, and I knew, I knew he had fought, lost, cried, and destroy his innocence for me. Part of Jake had still had faith in the goodness of the universe; he thought that if he fought I would be freed... and I realized that there was a child in us all. You just had to know where to look.  
  
And now I would never be able to tell him that I understood. His last vision of me would be as a hated enemy, a destroyer, a Yeerk.  
  
My last vision of him...  
  
It wouldn't be as Jake the General, cold-hearted and destroyed by war. It wouldn't be like he saw me, battered and beaten, but instead it would be Jake, the believer... my brother...  
  
I looked at his tears... they hid so much hurt, so much pain... his eyes were just an illusion, a barrier of cold steel protecting the vulnerable youth inside. If someone looked at him superficially, they would never realize the complexity of this one person, this one hero that carried the burden of war for his planet because he must. They would just see the hardened teenager, and never look into the wonderful person that he was... but just because they didn't believe there was a deeper part of Jake didn't mean that it didn't exist. They just let the illusion trick them into thinking there was nothing more to him than what was on the outside... but the real Jake inside was always there for you when you chose to believe in him. I knew. Everything else was just an illusion...  
  
Just an illusion...  
  
I had fought the Yeerk and lost... Jake had reached for me, but I did not have the strength to reach out for him... because... I couldn't pass through... the barrier...  
  
Jake... the child...  
  
No. Not a barrier...  
  
An illusion...  
  
The Yeerk...  
  
Just an illusion...  
  
I saw the child...  
  
I reached out...  
  
I knew what the Animorphs had gone through. All the battles fought. All the morals lost. To save Earth. To save me. And knowing that they had fought together for so long, so hard, and had lost...  
  
I cried inside my head, closed off from the outside world, closed off from the Yeerk... and I cried. For them. For me. For the victims of war.  
  
And gradually I became aware of a sound, soft at first, then louder, then earsplitting. It was a raging scream of denial, of disbelief. It was the Yeerk. The Yeerk who saw himself as he truly was.  
  
A slug.  
  
Inside... and out.  
  
And in his fatal scream of fury, past reason, past rationality, past sanity, all he wondered was how he had lost...  
  
You want to know how, Yeerk? You want to know why? You destroyed your once-peaceful species by sacrificing peace for power. You, and other fanatics like you, turned your race into an army. You are ruthless. You are determined. But you are a coward. When victory is impossible, you stop trying. If it looks like you can't win, you give up. We never do. We find solutions. We adapt. We die, maybe. But we never surrender the hope in our hearts and the free will of our minds, and nothing - no weapon, no torture, no Yeerk - can take that away from us.  
  
His last unearthly howl continued, and I knew my words rang true.  
  
You betrayed the Andalites, you betrayed the Yeerks, and now you have betrayed yourself. For your entire life has been bent on war, on victory, and now you have lost, and there is nothing more for you to live for. You enslaved me and controlled my body. But -you- are addicted to the power, the destruction, the killing. And in reality, the only one that is a slave is you, I said. You chose the wrong race to pick on, Yeerk. Humans value loyalty, freedom, and love, virtues that you have never understood and you never will. And that is why you lost.  
  
I looked at Tobias and Rachel, together, in love, and I knew that nothing could ever take that away from them, either.  
  
I looked at Jake, and I saw who he really was. A leader. A friend. My brother.  
  
I looked at the Yeerk, writhing, dying... the manifest result of war's evil.  
  
I looked at myself... my years as a host... fighting against the Animorphs physically as a Controller, but fighting for them in a way that was somehow much stronger.  
  
Throughout the battles, the destruction, the aliens, the enemies, the betrayals, the sacrifices, the fears, the death, the sadness, the loss...  
  
I saw darkened clouds of hatred, the thunderous march of war, acid rain of betrayal, shadowy fog of denial, a blurry horizon that gave no hint as to what might follow.  
  
Just an illusion...  
  
And even though there was no light to be seen yet...  
  
I knew there was hope.  
  
I opened my eyes.  
  
And through the tears, I smiled.  



	8. Freedom's Stand

Tom looked at me. He smiled - crying, but smiling too. And I knew.  
  
I knew he was free.  
  
For that brief moment it didn't matter what horrible sins I had committed in this war. It didn't matter that the fate of the human race was hanging precariously by a thread. It didn't matter that the Andalites were too late. The only thing that mattered was that Tom was free at last.  
  
I wanted to laugh and I wanted to cry. Right then I wished so much I could just freeze time. Tom was alive and Tobias had saved Rachel and Ax had defeated Visser One and Cassie still loved me. And for a split second, for here, and for now, all was right in the world.  
  
I tried to hold on to that moment, to burn it into my memory forever. Because I knew - I knew it wouldn't last.  
  
Reality always destroys dreams.  
  
At sleepless nights in the resistance camp I used to think about what I would say if I had a last conversation with Tom. What I would tell him.  
  
Now the dream had become a reality. And there was no more time to think.  
  
We spoke to each other, not in words, not in thought-speak, but through voices that can only be heard by those you love. Through our eyes and our hearts.  
  
I looked at my brother. "I fought for you, Tom," I said. "Through all the battles, all the hopelessness, I still had hope that someday you would be saved."  
  
Someday, I whispered to myself bitterly.  
  
He looked at me. "Jake," he said, "don't cry yourself to sleep over me. The pain will pass."  
  
I nodded slowly. "Yeah," I said. "It will."  
  
Neither of us was fooled.  
  
Tom said nothing more.  
  
The Blade ship - so long a symbol of evil, but now our last bastion of hope - flew through the dead vacuum of space towards the Pool ship.  
  
I knew what he planning. I knew what he meant to do.  
  
And I knew that despite everything, my brother would die today.  
  


* * *

  
"Go," Tom said to them. "The bridge door will lead to the Pool ship."   
  
Rachel looked at him, horror-stricken. "Tom-"  
  
"Go!" he said firmly. But sadly. "I'm free, Rachel. Free at last after so many years. That's enough for me."   
  
But I knew he was not speaking the whole truth. He wanted to live. All of us did. He was in a fast Blade ship - he could have escaped into Zero-Space. But he chose instead to sacrifice himself so that Earth might have a chance. Like Elfangor had done, so many years before.  
  
"You can come with us-" Tobias began.  
  
"No, Tobias. You need a diversion."  
  
"Tom..." Rachel said again, at a loss for words.  
  
It was strange. When he was a Controller fighting to kill her, she had looked on his face with such hatred. But now the same face belonged to someone she loved.  
  
Tobias seemed to be dealing with it okay. Of course, Tom wasn't his cousin. Not someone he had known his entire life. But I knew Tobias. He knew what Tom meant to me. To all of us.  
  
"Rachel, if I come with you then we'll all die and all of this will have been for nothing. Thousands of soldiers and kids down there have already been killed so that you could take the Pool ship. I'm just one more death. I know you know - this is a war. Sacrifices need to be made."  
  
At Tom's words, Rachel's crystal-blue eyes began to shine with tears. Tom smiled. A smile I had seen many times before the war. But now it was amazing just how important his smiles had become to me...  
  
"It'll be okay, Rachel," he said. "Just remember. Remember all of us who died for freedom. Remember what was done this day."  
  
Rachel nodded, but couldn't say anything. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Tobias took her by the hand and led her slowly towards the portal that would split their fates from his. Tom nodded too.  
  
Then he turned to me.  
  
Oh, God, how much love passed between us, how many hopes died in that one moment. I tried not to show what I was feeling. But Tom knew.  
  
Maybe I should have shown him more.  
  
I had joined this forsaken war to free Tom. Not to fight the Yeerks, not even to save the human race. I joined it to free my brother. To free Tom. So simple. And yet, I had discovered, it was anything but.  
  
I wished the few seconds left were an eternity. But, far too soon, those seconds passed.  
  
I had made so many choices. To think that if I had chosen differently, I might not have had to be there that day, in that moment, was agony.  
  
In a way, I, more than any other person, had chosen the path of history, a path that was now drawing swiftly to a close. Not something that I was proud of. Not something I had even wanted to do. But the die was cast. No one can change the past...  
  
And I was left only to wonder what might have been, and now never would be...  
  
Rachel was saved.  
  
Tom would die.  
  
Was it worth it? Was anything worth it anymore?  
  
War was a chess game. In chess you have to make sacrifices...  
  
No, that wasn't right. War was about real life. Real people killing and dying. Families torn apart. Hopes lost forever...  
  
"Thank you, Jake," he said, crying, "We tried..."  
  
The transmission ended. The viewscreen went blank.  
  
That was the last I saw of him.  
  


* * *

  
FLASH!  
  
A creature. Or a machine. Some combination of both. It sat still, as if it were bolted down, on a throne that was miles high. It could not move, and yet the power that flowed from it was like a hurricane of energy.   
  
Its head was a single eye. The eye turned slowly...left...right...  
  
I trembled. I prayed it would not look my way.  
  
And then it saw me.  
  
The eye, the bloodred eye, looked straight at me...  
  
It saw me. It SAW me!  
  
No! NO!  
  
FLASH!  
  


* * *

  
I blinked. Everyone was looking at me. Just like the eye of Crayak.  
  
Prince Jake? Ax asked tentatively.  
  
I shook off the sudden vision and turned towards my fellow Animorphs. I hesitated before speaking.  
  
These people around me were my friends, my family. I had dragged them to the pits of hell, and I always had found a way to drag them out.  
  
But not this time.  
  
The Ellimist! Why didn't he come and save us? Why wasn't he here when we needed him the most?  
  
_Not like that, Jake_, I thought. Blaming the Ellimist won't fix anything. Take responsibility.  
  
Besides, of course the Ellimist couldn't simply interfere in our minor lives. He was bound by The Rules. We were on our own.  
  
But my brain just seemed to freeze up. We weren't in a forest, in an enemy base, or even quietly infiltrating a Yeerk ship anymore. Morphing wouldn't help us now. We were out in the middle of space, stuck in a defenseless ship, facing a fleet even the Andalites could not rival. And we were alone. Defenseless...  
  
I racked my head for answers. I came up with a whole lot of nothing. We had no weapons, we couldn't run away. Any second now the Yeerks would decide to blow us up on a whim.  
  
I looked again at my friends. They were waiting for an answer.  
  
I didn't have one.  
  
"I..." I started speaking, in hopes that a solution would just come out. But I could still think of nothing.  
  
Crayak... Why had I thought of him? What was the point of the vision? Had Crayak made himself be remembered, was he just gloating now that we were doomed? Was it the Ellimist, trying to send me a message in his obscene way? Or had it just popped into my mind, a random fragment of memory?  
  
Too many questions. And no answers.  
  
I looked up once more, trying to gather the nerve to tell my friends that we were done for. Finished. But how could I do that? How could I just admit we were lost?  
  
Even at the bitter end, it was my responsibility to lead. And in order to lead, you have to have hope.  
  
Hope...  
  
As I raised my eyes, I found myself looking at Rachel. She and Tobias had joined us at the bridge... I hadn't even noticed.  
  
Crayak had had it in for her, or had used to. In a different way than he'd had it in for me, but he wanted us both.  
  
Crayak had focused on me because I was his enemy. He wanted Rachel to be on his side, a dark ally.  
  
But somewhere along the line Rachel had made the choice to thwart Crayak's wishes. At some point she had told Crayak - and herself - that she would never join his forces of evil. My life was a testimony to that. Crayak had, more than once, encouraged her to kill me.  
  
Rachel. Alive... It was still hard for me to believe. But if Rachel could be saved despite everything - despite all her ruthlessness, despite the darkness inside of her...  
  
If Rachel could be saved, then there was hope for us all.  
  
We just needed to find a way.  
  
I took a deep breath, trying to take in the situation, trying to see all the levels. On the surface was our Pool ship and Tom's Blade ship versus the rest of the Yeerk fleet. The surface level didn't look so good for us.  
  
But on another level, like the directors of a play, were the Ellimist and Crayak. Two incredibly powerful beings playing an intergalactic game of chess that spanned eons and light years.  
  
Earth was a crucial part of that game. I knew now that I was, too. I knew somehow that my decision here would be a turning point of their awesome struggle. The Ellimist knew it, and it was why Crayak wanted me dead. But what did each of them want me to do?  
  
Crayak wanted me to give up, obviously. He wanted me to look at the situation on the surface and decide it's hopeless. Like the Yeerks - they wanted humans to think that freedom was a lost cause. They wanted us to stop resisting and just accept the inevitable.  
  
What did the Ellimist want me to do? I didn't know, but I knew that he would not stop time and 'conveniently' put me in a position to find the answer. Crayak would never allow it, this late in the game.  
  
There was no Ellimist to help us now. This time, we were on our own.  
  
I had to see the bigger picture. This was the crux of the galactic dilemma. This moment was the deciding factor in the game. This was where the future of the galaxy would be determined by the climax of the carefully orchestrated plans of two omnipotent titans.  
  
Who were the players? There was the Ellimist, a being of light, who wished for a universe of harmony and friendship and peace. There was Crayak, a hybrid of life and machine, an evil mastermind of dissonance and subjugation.  
  
Who would win? You had the stereotypical clash of values - light and darkness, good and evil, peace and terror, life and destruction.  
  
But on the surface, evil power was far stronger than peace had ever been. So why was there hope? Why was the Ellimist right and Crayak wrong?  
  
A horrible thought struck me. What if my decision here wouldn't matter at all? What if it didn't change the future in the least?  
  
What if Crayak wasn't wrong?  
  
That was the truly terrifying thing - not that we Animorphs would die, or even that the Yeerks would be free to enslave the entire planet. But what if evil had always been destined to destroy all that was good in the universe? What if it was written in the stars that evil was stronger than the forces of good?  
  
We watched the viewscreen in silence as Tom's ship flew swiftly, silently towards the Yeerk fleet. Sacrificing himself for his people and loved ones. Not knowing whether or not his sacrifice would make any difference, but doing it just the same, because he knew he must. That was bravery.  
  
As if it was happening in slow motion, the Blade ship rapidly closed the distance between itself and the other ships. The Yeerks seemed to sense that something was wrong; their ships broke formation and began to scatter away from the onrushing Blade ship. But it was too late for them.  
  
Tom's Blade ship opened fire on the Yeerks. Like a cruel twist of fate, it was no longer Rachel in battle against impossible odds, but Tom. Rachel would live; Tom would die.  
  
Tom would die.  
  
How could I do this? What kind of person was I, that would sentence his own brother to death, that would trade one life for another?  
  
And if we won, how would I live with myself?  
  
We all had to make sacrifices in this war. Maybe this was mine: giving up my innocence, my humanity, so that others might be free.  
  
Was it worth it?  
  
I didn't know.  
  
But then, even at the brink of despair, the words of the Ellimist came floating back to me.  
  
EVERYTHING CHANGES THE FUTURE.  
  
If that was true... if it did matter what I chose to do...  
  
And almost at the same time, I heard in my mind Tom's silent voice, like a ghostly echo from long ago...  
  
...We never give up. We die, maybe. But we never surrender the hope in our hearts and the free will of our minds, and nothing - no weapon, no torture, no Yeerk - can take that away from us. Humans value loyalty, freedom, and love, virtues that you have never understood and you never will. And that is why you lost.  
  
Something stirred deep inside me. Tom's words became a beacon of hope and light in the midst of darkness.  
  
And in my heart I knew: that was the answer. That was what would destroy Crayak, and that was what would save us now.  
  
Loyalty. Love. And more than anything, freedom.  
  
When the Yeerk infested me, he couldn't understand why I would resist when it was useless. Why we fought, knowing we couldn't win. Why we had hope when there was no way out.  
  
Even we humans didn't really understand those ideas. But you don't always need to understand something to believe in it.  
  
We hoped for the impossible. We sought a light in the midst of darkness. And out of our faith grew a way, when there had been none before.  
  
I smiled. The Ellimist was right.  
  
Crayak was at least part machine, incapable of understanding the power of emotion. He couldn't comprehend anything beyond logic and reason... and he was doomed from the first time he ever crossed paths with the being of light known as the Ellimist. Because in his infinite calculations he didn't factor in love - the very force that would finally take him down.  
  
I thought back to that day on the Iskoort home world. Maybe this wasn't the first time that love would defeat Crayak. Maybe that's what had been destined to destroy him all along.  
  
I looked at the routed Yeerk fleet, and in my mind's eye I saw the host bodies of the crew, the officers, the captains, every one of them a slave to their personal Yeerk master. They all still hoped to one day be free.  
  
All they needed was someone to show them the way.  
  
"Ax," I said. "Open a communications channel to the Yeerk fleet."  
  
He looked at me, unsure. The Yeerks will not negotiate, Prince Jake. It is not part of their ruthless nature to settle for -   
  
"I know, Ax," I interrupted. "Just do it."  
  
I felt bad for Ax - this was the second time I had ordered him to follow orders without an explanation. But it was necessary. The other Animorphs looked at me, surprised and curious. But I had no time to explain. At any moment the Yeerk ships might come charging towards us and then it would be over.  
  
Communications are open, Prince Jake, Ax said.  
  
On the viewscreen the battle raged between the Blade ship and the Yeerks. Tom had taken them by surprise; he had destroyed or disabled a Pool ship and two other Blade ships. But the Yeerk forces were being rallied. He had no chance.  
  
I took a deep breath. Holding back my tears, I addressed the Yeerk fleet.  
  
"My name is Jake," I began.  
  
"For three years we humans have fought a war against you. But all throughout that time it has not been a war against the Yeerk species. It has been a war against slavery. It has been a war to defend the freedom of our planet and of our people."  
  
"It has been a war to fight for the basic right of any sentient creature: the right to be free. The Yeerk threat has posed a strong challenge to that right. We few humans alone among our people knew the reality of the Yeerk threat, and it became our responsibility to defend our planet, no matter the burden, no matter the cost."  
  
"In this war, we have lost many battles. But we have never given up. We have never surrendered. And we never will."  
  
"The renegade Blade ship is under the control of the host body of your former Security Chief. That host body is my brother."  
  
As I said those words, the impossible happened. It would be years before I would accept it... As I watched helplessly, the Blade ship was surrounded by a wall of Bug fighters and the remaining capital ships. Knowing he was doomed, Tom flew the ship directly into the side of a Pool ship -  
  
And with a huge explosion of light and matter, my brother died.  
  
I fought to continue. I had to be cold. Had to push back the emotions. Had to hold on.  
  
"Yeerks," I said, my voice trembling. "My brother died so that we might live. He died for the same cause of freedom that destroyed Visser One."  
  
"Now I speak to you, once-free peoples of the galaxy. You are slaves of the Yeerks. But you are still alive. You still hope to be free someday. And no matter what the Yeerks do to you, they can never take that hope away."  
  
"The Yeerk has beaten you down before, made you a slave in your own body. But I say to you my friends: never give up."  
  
"The Yeerk can never control your choices, your hopes, your dreams. You are the one that chooses your own destiny. And you are as free as you want to be."  
  
"My brother died for us. For your planet, for your people, for those you love! Our fate is in your hands."  
  
Prince Jake, Ax said. The Yeerks have switched off incoming communications.  
  
I nodded. I had expected that. But I hoped it was too late for the Yeerks.  
  
I looked at my friends. What had I done? What had I done?  
  
My brother had died. Tom had died. And I was to blame.  
  
I couldn't even feel anything then. It blew past me. I had to make my heart a stone, not accept it, or it would destroy me. Maybe I would feel what had happened later. Not now.  
  
Maybe I could have stopped it. Maybe I could have saved him! Maybe if I had done something different in the past, made different choices, been a little stronger. Maybe, maybe, maybe!  
  
I looked into Cassie's eyes. How would I explain what I had done? How could I ever explain it?  
  
Prince Jake, Ax said. The Yeerks... they're transmitting a reply. Ax knew what I had to deal with. His brother died in this war, as well. Now I knew how he felt.  
  
The viewscreen snapped on. It was a picture the last remaining Pool ship's bridge, similar to our own. Only this one was populated fully by Controllers.  
  
The reality of the situation sunk in: my plan had failed. No one had resisted their Yeerk. No one had fought. No one was free.  
  
We were doomed.  
  
"Well, well, well," a human in the center of the room laughed. "The Blade ship destroyed, and the Animorphs trapped in a helpless ship. What more could I ask for?"  
  
He smiled coldly. "My name is Sub-Visser Five. You seem to have taken a liking to assassinating our leaders. But no matter. I have assumed command of all Yeerk forces in this sector. The Andalites are just hours away, but when they come it will be too late. We will have finally crushed all opposition to the Yeerk Empire, and will be waiting when their pitiful Fleet comes out of Zero-Space."  
  
"Now you will learn," he said, his eyes blazing, "that freedom is a lost cause. For you humans it is now a dying remnant from a forgotten past. Soon your entire race will be assimilated into the Yeerk Empire, and we will be unstoppable."  
  
"On behalf of our late Visser One, I'm afraid I must have you sentenced to immediate and painful deaths," he said, mock-regretfully. "Lock targets. Prepare to fire."  
  
"Sub-Visser Five," I said, shaking uncontrollably. "You know you will lose eventually."  
  
"Really," he said, amused at my pitiful prophecy. "How could we?"  
  
"Something will beat you. Freedom will destroy you."  
  
"Freedom no longer exists," he said harshly. "Our hosts will never rebel. They cannot. The rule of a Yeerk is absolute. They have no power with which to resist us. We have ravaged their worlds, have destroyed their culture, have reduced everything to mechanical purity. We have stripped them of their dignity and tortured those who dared defy us. We have destroyed families and entire societies simply because it suits our needs, and we will continue to do so. Power rules this universe, not some pathetic ideal."  
  
"You will soon learn, human," he said, his face hardening, "that there is no mercy in real life. All ships: fire at will."  
  
TSEEEEEEEWWWW!  
  
A Dracon blast! But not from a spaceship.  
  
The viewscreen flared white. A second later the body of the sub-visser lay on the ground, unconscious or worse.  
  
"Countermand that order," a strong Hork-Bajir voice commanded. "Don't move, Yeerks, or I kill your sub-visser here and now." The Hork-Bajir tensed his muscles, a look of extreme concentration engulfing his face -  
  
And suddenly a gray slug was flying through the air as though it had been shot by a rocket. The Hork-Bajir took aim almost casually, and fired expertly at the Yeerk, which disintegrated in mid-flight.  
  
The shot took only an instant. Almost immediately, the Dracon beam was back to its original position, trained on the sub-visser.  
  
With a tight smile, he said, "Freedom is not as weak as the Yeerks believe it to be."  
  
And on the bridge of the Pool ship, and throughout the rest of the Yeerk fleet, thousands of inner battles were won. Thousands of ex-controllers took command of the starships. It was an incredible sight to behold on the bridge, and even more incredible knowing it was happening throughout the fleet.  
  
The world became a blur as thousands of former hosts rejoiced, and thousands more flew their ships back to Earth to take control of the situation on the ground.  
  
But somehow none of it seemed to matter.  
  
We had won, finally. But I felt hollow inside.  
  
Suddenly I was in Cassie's arms, pressing her close, hugging her for all it was worth. Trying to forget what I had done...  
  
I had killed my brother. We had won the war.  
  
Nothing seemed worth it anymore.  
  
  



	9. Full Circle

(Cassie)

I had used the Time Matrix, probably breaking a zillion Ellimist laws that I never knew existed. I had stopped Rachel's death. I still wasn't sure that anything I had done was right.

Because now Tom was dead. Not by Rachel's hand, no, but he was still dead. I was holding Jake tightly, but my mind was in two parts. I wondered - would any of this make a difference? Would Jake turn out any different, or would he still be a depressed self-committed outcast? Would he be _worse_ off than before? I didn't think so, but it was impossible to tell.

Then I felt something - something within me, something that struck at the deepest core of my being.

I closed my eyes. I didn't know what it was, but I had the strangest vision, almost like I dream. I saw lines of light floating in a vast region of space. And two of the lines were moving together and apart very quickly, as though they were clashing...

* * *

(Jake)

"Flush them."

Finally, they were going to die - the seventeen thousand Yeerk scum that had made my life hell for the past three years. I felt elated. I had the _power_. I was going to have my revenge, for what they did to Tom... for what they did to me. But as I looked over at the pool, frozen, a crystal graveyard, the scene changed...

The dead, lifeless forms were no longer Yeerks...

They were my friends.

* * *

(Rachel)

I was the bear. With one swipe, I prepared to kill the Controller -

But suddenly I was human again and the Yeerk was the bear. A polar bear, the equal of my own grizzly, towering over my weak human body. Thought-speak laughter rang in my head.

Tobias! I looked for him, he would save me, he was coming-

But Tobias was on the Blade ship, on the screen, a universe away from my fatal struggle.

"I love you," I said to him.

The polar bear killed me with a single blow.

_This isn't what happened! _I screamed in my head. _Tobias saved me!_

"No, my favorite Animorph," a dark voice said. "He never did."

* * *

(Ax)

I was in a large human courtroom, frozen in mid-session. Among the multitude of people and objects, one of them caught my eye - an Andalite holding box. Written in my language were the words "Visser One / Containment Facility / Highest Security".

Visser One, out of his host and in Andalite custody? 

I looked at the date - months after the current day. Impossible! I had killed Visser One and fulfilled my honor-oath to my brother. I had avenged Elfangor!

"Ha ha ha... not in this timeline."

I spun around, but no one was moving or speaking. Yet I still heard a horrible, ringing laugh in my ears...

* * *

(Marco)

A woman, dark haired, walking down the long steel pier. She was being forcibly dragged by five Hork-Bajir. At the end, waiting for her, was a Yeerk.

My mother!

But wait... she was free now. Not a Controller. Then, who was...

I noticed the man behind her. Visser One himself was following, to make sure there would be no mistakes. They would both be infested.

They were never saved, a voice said. Unlike your parents, mine never even had a chance.

I shook my head. Did he even know our story? Did he even know what happened? "David," I said. "Are you sure you're invading the right person's mind? I'm supposed to be dreaming about hot girls, not an alien invasion."

Shut up, Marco, David snapped.

I opened my eyes...

* * *

(Rachel)

There were only faint stars shining in the night sky, and the construction site was even darker than before. Some things were different, but it was still definitely here our war had started, where we had become Animorphs.

I felt my feet slam down into the dirt. There, in a row, were arrayed the six of us, Tobias still as human, Ax as Ax. On a sort of round pedestal in the center, sitting like a perversion of a king, was a rat. I had trapped him that way. 

But now, David was not angry, not pleading as he had been in my nightmares. He wasn't even vengeful like he was when we had met last. On the contrary, he was laughing. Mocking. Smug, even - as smug as a rat-person can be.

It was weird to think that I didn't find the situation too strange. I was only slightly unsettled that I had been thrown from one vision to a totally different reality, and by the fact that a sentient rat was sitting on what was basically a throne.

"Made another deal with Crayak, huh?" I asked. I felt the old anger coming back. I was scared, and I was mad. "Where is the big red eye now?"

David was laughing maniacally. You'd like to know, wouldn't you? You'd feel _safer_ believing that you were all powerful. News flash: you're not.

"News flash: you're a rat," I shot back. But he was on the alert, snout sniffing the air, beady little eyes snapping this way and that. He wasn't really listening to me.

Maybe that was a good thing.

Jake looked at Marco, who nodded. Then, turning to the podium: "Sorry to burst your bubble, David, but we have better things to do than blather about interdimensional beings. Still, it was nice of you to invite all of us to your party." Marco turned to walk away. I started to follow, but he hadn't taken two steps before Cassie screamed. Marco's leg had reached an invisible barrier. Ripples extended outward from where he had touched the "wall," but the weirdest part of all was that half of his leg was reflected back from the wall as though it were coming in from the other side.

"Okay, this is seriously weird..." he said.

Ax "felt" the air behind him with his tail, which bent back inwards in the same way. He pulled it "back," then limbered it back above his head like a sword. We appear to be trapped, he said calmly.

"What's this about, David?" Jake asked. I felt a surge of respect for him in a way that hadn't happened in a long time: his brother had just died, the war was nearly over, but as long as there was a threat to his friends, he was still willing to be the leader.

Yes, Big Jake. It's time for me say good-bye.

I looked at him inquisitively. David wasn't exactly the type to spend time on sentiments.

And to gloat, of course, he added.

Oh. That was more like the David we knew.

David looked around at us. We looked at Jake. He didn't say a word.

Well? David demanded.

"Tom just died," Marco grated. "We're not in the mood for another one of your power struggle fits."

Ha, ha... stick to comedy, Marco - you don't do 'caring'. And this time, I _do_ have the power. Power absolute!

I rolled my eyes. I began to ask Jake, "What are we going to -"

FLASH!

A blinding light cut me off, and suddenly the sphere David was sitting on transformed into a glowing off-white shade. With miniscule claws, one paw grasped the a tall, perfectly smooth sphere like it was a weapon.

It was.

"The Time Matrix!" Cassie gasped.

In an instant, everything changed. We were moved from weariness to being alert, from pitying a poor creature to defending ourselves against a potentially lethal enemy.

Yes, David said, in a triumphance that was sickening to hear. _I have the Time Matrix_! Do you understand what this means?

"Yes," Marco said. "It means I was right and your ego really is bigger than mine. How did you bring us here, anyway? 'Cause unless that's a new model, that thing only works if you're touching it."

David ignored Marco. You probably can't even comprehend what I could do with this. I never met any of you. Rachel never trapped me as a rat.. Because, surprise - none of you ever existed.

None of us knew what to say. We were all breathing hard now. You don't want a temperamental rat ready to kill you on a whim. We couldn't risk provoking him. 

Jake gave the smallest of looks to Ax, who tensed up almost imperceptibly, getting ready to lunge for David or for the Matrix -

One move, one morph and all of you are history, David warned, stopping Ax dead in his tracks. Literally.

I wanted to roll my eyes again, but behind the corny line, it was the ultimate threat. Rewrite us out of history so we just never _were_.

Ax, you can still take him out, Tobias said in private thought-speak.

No, Ax said. He likely already has the precise location and time primed in the Matrix. While I can move very fast, he can likely think faster.

My parents were never Controllers. We gave the Yeerks critical information about the Animorphs and the too-late Andalite fleet - information that allowed them to totally destroy all resistance. As a reward, they let my family rule Earth like kings while they enslaved the Andalite home world.

"Yeah, right," I said. "Visser One - "

"He's dead now, you know," Tobias interjected.

"- would never be stupid enough to make you a general of anything. That future would never happen."

David laughed again. I can make it happen. I have all the time in the world.

"You're a rat," Marco pointed out. "That could be a problem."

Not for long. In a minute, I'll shed this filthy white thing and be human again - as soon as _you_, David said, pointing at me, no longer exist.

"What is this place?" Cassie asked. "Why are we here?"

Ax started to answer, I think this location is a result of -

I made this place with the Time Matrix, David interrupted. So even if history didn't work out, I could make a new world, my own little piece of the cosmos, and I really wouldn't have to care about anything that happened here. Then, in a totally new tone of 'voice', he said, almost giggling,And you're here so I can wish you a happy existence before I blow you out of the space-time continuum. I was patrolling outside your puny little resistance camp, hungry for insects and information, when I found it hidden, buried in the ground. 

Cassie flinched. I looked at her, but she shook her head, and there was something more important to deal with. David was switching between mirth and deathly seriousness so fast it was like he was two different people locked inside one tiny rat brain. Which was understandable, considered all he'd had to deal with.

And yet... and yet, something seemed wrong. Whenever he giggled, it didn't sound at all like David, but like another voice I knew...

"Wait a minute," Tobias said. "You can't change your own past with the Time Matrix - it buffers you against messing with your own timeline. If you change the past, you change the present - maybe you never found the Matrix in the first place, so you couldn't have gone back to change your past."

Perhaps such a deliberate attempt to change one's past would destabilize the very fabric of the universe, Ax suggested.

David gave a little rat-shrug. I guess we'll find out, won't we. And anyway, if Rachel died, the Andalite here would never have done it by himself. I mean, who else would have been evil enough to trap me?

_It had to be done._ I looked at David_. _Then I looked away.

Then...

"I would," said Jake.

No one spoke, but I felt my heart rise.

David tightened his grip on the Time Matrix. Ax stiffened, but then the rat scampered away from the center of the sphere, his claws scrabbling over the polished surface. Something above David caught my eye; I looked up, and above his head was a column of air swirling around, forming a sort of perfectly straight whirlwind.

Ax had noticed too. David, you should know that there is a space-time vortex forming in the precise center of this area. The Time Matrix has formed an artificial plane of existence. If I remember correctly, in a very short time, this false plane will become more and more unstable, collapse, and cause all matter within to effectively cease to exist.

David's eyes flicked upwards, then darted back to us. I guess it won't be too fun for you guys when I leave, then.

"David, you can't do this," Cassie said. But David, who had once respected Cassie way more than he did any of us, just laughed again.

You can't stop me! David's little rat grin was maniacal now. Maybe he really had lost it.

"Thousands of people have already died fighting the Yeerks," Jake said, and I knew he was thinking about Tom. "Do you really want to make all of their sacrifices meaningless?"

I felt my hair start to rustle - the vortex was growing. It was now a cylinder of brilliant blue light, a foot wide, cutting through the middle of the Time Matrix.

Ooooh, big words, Big Jake - too bad you're still wrong. Better to save yourself. Better to die than be a rat forever. My parents are Controllers, they're as good as dead. I have no family, no friends, no life. But that's all going to change, he said viciously, and swiped the air with one of his claws. Claws smaller than a finger, and yet more dangerous than all of the weapons in the world combined. Too bad you let me live, Rachel. You should take hypocrite lessons from Cassie, she's good at it - kill a thousand people one day, don't kill a rat the next - pat yourself on the back and call yourself a hero. Easy, huh? he said. But "David" had gone too far.

"No," I said. "It wasn't easy."

It was the hardest decision I had ever needed to make. But I had begun to realize...

"Rachel gave you a choice, David," Cassie said. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, blown sideways by the growing storm. It was sort of good to know she could still cry even for an enemy. I wondered if I could.

You're right, Cassie. Even though you're almost as big of a hypocrite as Rachel. But Rachel didn't have the guts to take my life when I begged her to kill me.

"You're right, David," I said, my voice already part-rumble. "I didn't." Brown, shaggy fur was spreading across my body. Huge claws erupted from my fingers.

No! David said, shocked, as he backed away to the very edge of the Time Matrix. 

Oh yes, I said. I dropped to all fours.

"Rachel, no!" Marco yelled.

"Don't, Rachel!" Jake snapped. "He'll leave with the Matrix!" But a glance at Jake showed that was morphing too, his eyes changing from brown to sky blue.

David was fifteen feet away. I reached him in two bounds, the wind from the column howling in my ears, the scent of rat locked in my nose.

He squeaked. He froze, then started to run, but he hesitated a split second too long. One paw sent him flying across the dirt.

The ground began to shake. The vortex was widening.

I turned back to the Time Matrix.

Sitting atop it, legs crossed, was the Drode.


	10. A Single Butterfly

**Author's Note: **I am terribly sorry that I had to replace the thought-speak symbols with underlines/quotes. I just couldn't get the site to accept them. Please don't let it detract from your enjoyment of the final two chapters. Thanks!

* * *

"No, no, no," the Drode whined, "you ruined everything! Everything!" 

"Good", Rachel said. She roared and stabbed the Drode, but he held out one many-jointed hand, sending a huge ripple through the air. Her grizzly recoiled instantly like she had been hit in the face with a sledgehammer; then Rachel fell.

"Looks like somebody _tripped_," the prune-creature said. It stood up and did a little pirouette in mid-air. He was even more caustic than before - a combination of the old Drode and something else... a bitter desperation.

"Rachel!" Tobias yelled. He took off with blinding speed, claws outstretched, but the Drode spun just in time to hit him with the same blast he had used on Rachel. As Tobias fell like a stone, the Drode sent more shock waves at Marco, Ax, and Jake, laughing sadistically as their helpless bodies were slammed against the walls. They didn't move.

I ran to Rachel and wrapped my arms around her. Her heart wasn't beating.

"What do you want from us!" I demanded, blinking back tears. "Why bring us here just to kill us? Why don't you kill me too?"

"Kill you? Oh, no - we musn't do that - musn't touch the special one at all, the sub-temporally grounded one, the anomaly. Oh my, I _hope _you don't mind me zapping you here when you'd thought you'd won. You seemed to be _begging_ for a repeat of the last time you followed the Time Matrix. Watching Jake get shot was a bit of fun, I admit. Pity he never died in this timeline - at least, not then." The Drode's face twisted itself into a grotesque smile.

"You killed him!" I screamed, looking up from the once-mighty bear, the hurricane of wind tearing the words from my throat. "You killed him!"

"He killed Crayak," the Drode spat. "He killed my master by sacrificing himself. Jake should have died - he _did_ die, but then a certain _someone_ went and erased that timeline. Now, I wonder who that could have been?" It suddenly shifted towards me, eyes burning.

I was shocked. For a second I forgot all about the vortex and the shaking ground. Crayak was gone... "But that timeline never happened, so Crayak never died!"

The Drode snorted. "You know, for being a space-time anomaly, you really are a fool. You can't reverse Crayak's death with the Time Matrix. The Great Crayak is - _was - _a transdimensional being. He existed far beyond your puny four dimensions of space and time, and in some alternate future, Big Jake still made his sacrifice.

"I'm linked to the Time Matrix, you know - Crayak revealed to me that our fates are entertwined," the Drode said conversationally, stroking the Time Matrix like it was a pet. "It looks so innocent on the outside, doesn't it? Just a simple white sphere - but there is always a legend of its power, and everyone wants power. They always start off with the best of intentions - to go home, to save a loved one, to win a war - but it is never that simple. Things go wrong. It never works out the way the want it to.Unforseen consequences happen, and eventually everything is a disaster. In reality, the Time Matrix is a machine of pure destruction. That is why people are drawn to it - deep down, everyone wants to destroy. That is why the rules of the game forbade the forces of either side to use it.

"Except-" the Drode paused dramatically, "_except_, this time, somehow, it didn't destroy everything. Not because of luck or anyone's skill, not because of fate. But because you're the one and only sub-temporally-grounded being alive. Only you _knew_ what to do. Only you knew exactly how to use the Time Matrix. Only you could interfere in just the right way - oh, not consciously, of course, but you knew how deep within you. Only you could somehow convince your past self to allow you to go in her place without permanently destabilizing your own time strand.

"But I couldn't allow that, now, could I? I couldn't just play the chessmaster and sit back and _watch. _So I decided to take you here for revenge, and who best to exact that righteous vengeance on your santimonious little souls than the sixth Animorph?"

I wiped my hand across my face - I thought there was more good in David than that. "So David just agreed to go along with you?" I sniffed.

"Oh, no, it wasn't _that_ easy. You see, I merely pulled a few strings in his mind, with no intention of hurting him - we musn't damage sentient life-forms, of course - and voila! He said the things I needed him to say, and all with no risk to me. After all, with Crayak gone, I am vulnerable to temporal harm, and one doesn't put one's self in danger unneccessarily, does one? Except _that_ didn't work out either, thanks to _her_," the Drode screeched, pointing to Rachel, "who somehow knew that our little rat-friend wasn't being himself."

I moved towards the Time Matrix, but the Drode made a gesture and suddenly my feet felt like they were made of solid lead. "Naughty naughty, trying to leave the party." He motioned to the environment around him; apparently the Drode's "party" was the small sandstorm and the metal supports of the never-finished buildings that were now issuing metallic groans in a threatening way.

"You're killing us," I pleaded desperately. "You know we can't escape before this place falls apart unless we use the Time Matrix!"

The Drode gave a melodramatic sigh and put its hands up. "Oh no, I _wish_ there was something I could do to help, but it looks like my hands are tied." A thick rope appeared and wrapped itself around the Drode's wrists. Then it shrugged, "I am still bound by the rules of engagement - there is always a way out. If you don't find it, then..."

The way out! What was it? It was nearly impossible to think with the ground rumbling and the wind howling.

_Now is _not _the time for thinking_, I told myself. Though my legs were still rooted to the ground, I began to morph the only thing that could possibly be of any use, the only thing I could think of.

"Won't help you, there's no time," the Drode said instantly, relishing the moment. "When that vortex surrounds the Time Matrix - and it will, too, in about two minutes - poof!" I looked at my friends, but the Drode said, "They won't help you, either...no animal from your planet can regain consciousness from that blast in less than an hour. What a calamity for you. I thought it would be fitting to watch you die before I destroyed your world - or rather, before the Andalites do, they're still coming to destroy your precious Earth, you know."

I gave a strangled cry; the Drode laughed his horrible laugh again, prancing over to Rachel. "You know, she could have been a great ally for Crayak, but she chose the wrong path. Too bad. Crayak warned me that a single butterfly could ruin everything, but it looks like, in the end," he said, bending over Rachel as though inspecting her, "all her little flapping didn't amount to much."

The Drode clapped his hands together. "Time for me to go and leave you to your very own impending doom, but just between you and me," he said, lowering his voice to a stage whisper, "I always thought she'd never amount to anything."

"Think again," Jake said.

"KEEEEEEEEEeeeee-row!"

An unearthly howl issued forth from the Drode. It clutched its sagging face with its weak hands, and suddenly I could move again! But I staggered on four gray legs, halfway to elephant, catching the echoes of the howl.

Jake, blue Howler eyes locked on the servant of evil, took aim again.

"KEEEEEEEEEeeeee-row!" The Drode reeled from the incredible pain I knew it must be experiencing - its mind was being attacked - but it was still standing.

Jake took four steps to the Drode, now vulnerable and unable to counterattack. He hit it three times in the chest, and it collapsed into a heap, but it was still alive.

"Cassie! I can't kill him, and he'll be back up in seconds! He's way tougher than he looks!"

"Jake, the Time Matrix!" I yelled.

"I know!" Immensely strong Howler arms dragged Marco in one hand and picked up Tobias in the other; I half-pushed, half-kicked Ax's centaur body to the Time Matrix.

"Get Rachel!" I screamed, as the rumble turned into a full-blown earthquake. With unbelievable speed, Jake pulled the grizzly to the center of the "room" and pushed one of Rachel's paws against the white sphere.

"Let's get out of here!" Jake said. I placed my trunk on the Time Matrix -

"NO!" the Drode yelled, its voice no longer mocking or singsong-like, but haggard and desperate. "I'll kill the rat!" In its arms, crushed between two flimsy-looking hands, was David.

I had never seen anything look more beaten and pitiful in my life. Immediately I felt guilty for being prepared to leave him.

I looked at Jake and he looked at me. We both knew: there was no time. No way to wrest him away from the Drode and still escape. We both knew it was an emotional trap. But neither of us wanted to just leave him.

I snapped back to the moment. "Jake!"

"KEEEE-" The Drode's blast ripple cut off another deadly howl and slammed Jake against the Time Matrix.

Chunks of metal crashed down from the sky.

The shaft of light would swallow the Time Matrix in seconds!

Then David opened his eyes.

"Cassie," he said weakly. "Escape..."

The Drode tightened his grip, making David give a pathetic squeak. "I'll torture him forever," the Drode threatened. "I'll haunt your nightmares with endless screams!"

David's fading voice. "Go, now... and tell Rachel... tell her I'm sorry."

"I will," I promised.

He looked at me one last time. And even though he was in a rat's body, he seemed more human than he had ever been.

For one heart-wrenching moment, everything stood still.

But the world around me was tearing itself apart.

And suddenly, I knew what to do.

A single butterfly.

I closed my eyes.

"You wouldn't!" the Drode screamed.

I would.


	11. The Beginning

**Author's Note / Disclaimer**: Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed this story. I am greatly honored. I've written this story over a period of four years... and now it is finally done.

I don't own the Animorphs. I do, however, own the hope that the Animorphs and what they stand for will always be in our hearts and minds.

* * *

I felt myself floating. I still didn't want to open my eyes. 

Rachel was alive, I told myself. The seventeen thousand Yeerks were alive.

But Tom was dead. The soldiers that had helped us - dead. The auxiliary Animorphs - dead.

How could the Ellimist deal with it? He was, in a way, responsible for everything - him and his stupid games.

You go to war, you fight, you have to make choices that maybe end up killing your best friend. Your brother. That's what Jake had done.

As for me... I had left David behind.

I had left a lot of things behind.

I opened my eyes. I was floating, again, among thousands of stars, each a glowing pinpoint in the vastness of space.

The others were there. Jake was there. All alive, five humans, an Andalite, just like we started, two and a half years ago.

Except not just like we started.

The old man was there, too.

Jake squeezed my hand. For a while, no one said anything.

The Ellimist looked at each of us in turn. Then he bowed.

"You cannot possibly imagine what you have done," he said quietly.

In an instant, we were flying through space, weightless, the stars rushing past us. A planet! We flew closer, down through the atmosphere, impossibly fast. Below us were fantastic trees and sleek starships and endless, endless fields of lush, blue-green grass. Though I had never before seen this exact place, I knew what it must be.

"The Andalite home world," Ax whispered.

YOU CANNOT KNOW HOW MANY WORLDS HAVE BEEN SAVED.

Vibrant splashes of green, of blue, of red, of white. Unknown planets and peoples flashed before our eyes. Most of the worlds were foreign, but we recognized some. The Hork-Bajir home world. The Taxxon world and Leera.

YOU CANNOT COUNT HOW MANY SLAVES HAVE BEEN FREED

Countless oceans and valleys, mountain peaks and rolling fields. Dozens of galaxies, hundreds of planets, thousands of free, sentient races, millions of species of life and wondrous splendor.

HISTORY IS CHANGED FOREVER BECAUSE OF YOUR ACTIONS.

An Andalite tactical display rose among the visions. A small model of the galaxy, covered in glowing red areas under Yeerk control. The galaxy began to rotate as time sped up. And the red shrank and dwindled and became nothing.

Then, we came to a final, very familiar planet.

AND YOU HAVE SAVED _YOUR_ WORLD, AS WELL. SO MUCH THAT IS BEAUTIFUL IS NOT LOST TO THE YEERKS. SO MUCH ART AND LIFE AND LOVE.

We were floating above our beloved planet, for which so much blood had been spilled, for which so many people had died. We looked at the light that shone from our own world - the points of light that were cities in Europe and Asia, the line that heralded the arrival of day from night.

"What happened?" Marco demanded. "Where's the Drode, where's the Time Matrix?"

"The Time Matrix is destroyed," I said.

"What - the Time Matrix is indestructible!" Ax said.

"So the legend of your people says," the Ellimist agreed. "And the myth has some basis in fact - it is immune to physical destruction. But it was always vulnerable to someone who had the Time Matrix in their grasp - who had the power to do _anything_ they wished - and yet wished only for the destruction of the very device that gave them such absolute power."

The Ellimist looked at me. Jake looked at me, too. I looked away.

"_Cassie_ destroyed the Time Matrix?" Marco asked.

"Not too quick on the up-take, are you?" Rachel said. "What about the Drode?"

"The Drode was also destroyed," said the Ellimist. "Crayak's wild card balanced out Elfangor's limited use of the Time Matrix. The Drode was connected to the Matrix so that Crayak would know instantly if I let it be used again. When it was destroyed, so was the Drode."

"Cassie knew this would happen?" Tobias demanded.

"No, I didn't," I said angrily.

"No," the Ellimist agreed. "You didn't know. But you had a feeling. You had a hope."

The old man looked at me with a mixed expression - pain, regret, compassion.

"You put a tortured soul to rest," he said. "There is nothing more difficult, nor more kind."

I met Rachel's gaze. _Tell Rachel... tell her I'm sorry._

"Why did Crayak let us live?" Jake asked.

"He did not," the Ellimist said heavily. "But before it was destroyed, the Time Matrix, for the first time in its many histories, was put to good use."

"What does that mean?" Jake asked.

"It means, Jake," I said, a single tear rolling down my cheek, "that you died."

* * *

(Marco) 

"You and Marco and Tobias were on a mission to save Ax from imprisonment," Cassie said, her voice quavering. "Then..."

I looked at Cassie. Then it hit me: a ghostly echo. Like a half-forgotten memory fragment, the flash of a dream.

Jake's voice: _Ram the Blade ship_.

He was wearing Rachel's smile. But Rachel wasn't here... Rachel was...

_Ram the Blade ship_.

I looked up at Jake. Ax was shaking.

"We sacrificed ourselves," I said. "To stop...to destroy -"

"The One," Tobias said. "The third power, greater than you and Crayak."

"Yes," the Ellimist agreed. "You did."

"I died, too," Rachel said, very quietly, her eyes widening. "I died on the Blade ship."

I shook my head, trying to clear the eerie feeling, the faint dream-memory of my own death.

"So why aren't we still dead?" Jake demanded. "No way Crayak would let us live. No way. What about the Rules?"

In reponse, the Ellimist laughed - a gentle, shimmering feeling that seemed to fill each of us to the brim with energy. "There are no more Rules," he said. "Crayak is gone. The universe has its own rules, and they are far more complex than those of our little game - our ended game."

There was another silence. I felt just a little overwhelmed. It's not every day you win an intergalactic space-time war.

"What are you going to do now?" Tobias asked.

The most powerful being left in the galaxy gave a small, sad smile. "It is time for me to leave."

"What?" Cassie cried. "Why?"

"The One is vanquished. Crayak and the Drode are gone. My time in this universe is over."

"Why can't you stay here and make sure things go right?" Rachel demanded. "You could help people, you have the power!"

The Ellimist sighed. "I have long given up on the notion that I could ever truly know what is best for the universe. The six of you will soon have your own great influence on your world and the galaxy."

"No way," Tobias argued. "We don't know a billionth of what you know. We can't change history!"

"You have already done so," he said simply.

"So you're just going on permanent vacation?" Jake said. "What about us? Earth is a mess, if you haven't noticed. The Andalites are ready to fry us."

He nodded. "That is still a possibility; however, it is now very unlikely - "

"Oh good," I interrupted.

" - because, based on immense popular resistance from the Electorate, the Andalite high command refrained from destroying Earth. They have agreed to make the morphing technology available to the Yeerks and Taxxons so that an armistice can be reached and the Great War can finally be ended."

Ax nodded, but the Andalites' sudden change of heart seemed pretty suspicious to me. Unless -

"And all this happened without any interference from you?" Tobias asked skeptically.

The Ellimist merely smiled.

Great. The biggest non-answer of them all... and yet, I wasn't going to complain. None of us were.

I took a deep breath and looked at my friends, all slowly processing the weight of the Ellimist's words. I felt an awkward, touchy-feely moment coming up. Of course, I had to do something to stop it.

"Okay, so," I said briskly, "before you go 'poof' for good, I must know: what happens to us in the end? Do I become rich and famous? Do I get my own TV show?"

"Will he ever become mature? Does he ever get a girlfriend?" Rachel asked sardonically.

"Hey, my questions were rhetorical," I said.

"So were mine," Rachel shot back.

"How about a simple 'do we all turn out okay?'" Cassie asked.

The Ellimist winked at us. Then, just like that, he vanished.

"I _hate_ it when he does that!" Rachel said. "I'm gonna kill him."

"You can't kill him, he's an interdimensional being," Tobias said, fluffing his wings against the backdrop of stars.

"Hey, we killed Crayak," I said. "Too bad the Ellimist isn't evil incarnate."

"As I said," Ax said, smugly, "never trust an Ellimist."

"I really think he's gone this time," Cassie said thoughtfully.

"Oh, I don't know," Tobias said. "With the Ellimist, you can never be _entirely _sure..."

Jake laughed. "He never even answered our question... I guess he doesn't really know the answer."

"He didn't want to admit it, of course," I said. "Would you?"

* * *

(Marco) 

We were in an Andalite ship en route to Washington, D.C., the nation's capitol, to tell the world the story of our war with the Yeerks and where things stood now. We called ahead so no one would be freaked out - and to make sure there was a proper welcoming committee.

The violence we had dealt with for two years would always be with us. You can never forget war. But in life, you always have a choice. You can focus on what's cool and good in the world, or you can focus on what's not.

And we were still together. We had fought. We had won.

"The ship has landed," Ax announced.

I looked outside at the thousands of reporters and police who were waiting for us. I felt a huge surge of excitement. It was our first well-earned moment in the spotlight. Yes!

"You know, for losing my childhood innocence and all, I think I could get used to this kind of fame," I said, gesturing to the huge throng of people around us.

"Marco," Rachel said, "you were never exactly innocent in the first place."

"Well, Xena..." I began. My carefully planned, _perfect_ comeback was ready!

Nothing could stop me from utterly crushing her on our day of victory...

Nothing except Tobias, who chose that exact moment to lean over and start kissing Rachel like today was ending and there wasn't going to be a tomorrow.

Somehow I forgot my joke.

I sighed. Made a mental note to kill Tobias later, when Rachel wasn't around.

"Great," I said. "Just great. Hey, fearless leader, I don't think Rachel and Tobias are going to be able to give a speech -"

That was when I noticed that Jake and Cassie were pretty busy too.

"That's it, Ax. Open the freaking door."

Ax and I, followed a few moments later by Jake, Cassie, Rachel, and Tobias, walked onto a sort of stage in front of the largest crowd of people I had ever seen, half applauding and cheering, half yelling and demanding answers. We would give them answers.

The Animorphs stood there, in a line, facing the Washington Monument.

I caught Rachel's gleaming eye, and I couldn't help it, I grinned too. So cool.

It was time.

Jake stepped up to the podium. The roar of the crowd went down about three percent.

He adjusted the microphone, looked at me. And I saw Jake, my oldest and best friend. On the outside he was the same Jake that I had always known, but inside everything had changed. He knew he had come close to losing it too many times, but the worst was behind him, and he knew that, too. At some point, he would have to deal with his inner demons, and when the time came, I would do my best to help him.

But all that would come later. In the meantime...

I winked at the leader of the Animorphs. He smiled and turned to the crowd.

"People of America - people of the world," he began, in a strong, clear voice. "My name is Jake..."

* * *

(Jake) 

I was at Tom's memorial site. He was heavily honored, as evidenced by the dozens of medals and numerous other posthumous awards that decorated his grave.

I shivered in the cold. But I wasn't alone.

There aren't many decisions that are black-and-white, good and evil. Life is more complicated than that.

How many people had died to save this planet? How much pain was Elfangor suffering, knowing the burden he would place upon us?

How can you return to a normal life, after you've been through war? Day after day you go on, searching for answers... until finally, you realize you can never really go back.

Even if you desperately want to.

Even if that's the only thing that seems to matter.

We were silent for a while.

Cassie put her arms around me.

"Tom would have been proud," Cassie said gently. "We needed you then, and you saved the world."

I closed my eyes.

"You saved me," I whispered.

We stayed there, together, for a long time.

* * *

TWO YEARS LATER 

(Jake)

The intercom beeped. "Sir, I am sorry to wake you, but there appears to be an elephant, a hawk, and a young man waiting to see you."

"All right, Jeffrey," I groaned, yawning. "Send them in."

"Of course, sir," the voice said. "Also, the young man asked if I had any cinnamon buns -"

"Urh, yeah, we do," I muttered, and slammed the button for "end."

Cassie raised an eyebrow. "I wonder who that could possibly be?" she smiled wryly.

A minute later, the sound of multiple feet running echoed throughout my hallway.

"JAKE! We know you're in there. Hand over Cassie, now!" a familiar voice rang out.

"Hey, I live here, now, you know," Cassie protested.

"Sorry you had to demorph," I said. "I guess I forgot to make my house elephant-accessible - "

"Cut his door down, Ax," Tobias interjected.

"Wait, wait!" I said, laughing. I opened the door to find Rachel, Tobias, and Ax. "Hey, where's the gorilla?"

Then a door to my side room opened, revealing my best friend. "Jake, man, you are in serious need of my expert advice. Both your video game _and _your fine wine selections are totally inadequate."

"Marco, I don't have any wine - "

"That's exactly the problem - "

"Prince Jake!" Ax cried, stepping into the room, sounding quite delighted. "Your dwelling place is very impressive, but I must ask: do cinnamon buns exist here?"

"You know, Jake, we really should have Animorph-proofed this room," Cassie said, giggling as she stood up and stretched.

"It's a great day for flying," Tobias said, preening himself. "Nice and warm, perfect for thermals..."

The intercom beeped again. "Will you be coming down, sir?" a now-worried voice asked.

"No," I said, smiling. 'I don't think so."

The horizon was still hazy, but the sun was out and the sky was clear... Tobias was right. It was going to be one of those days.

Rachel crossed the room to my view of the beach, the Pacific ocean stretching endlessly beyond. "Are we going to fly, or what?" she demanded, throwing the window open. "Come on!"

I looked at Cassie, smiling. "Let's do it," I said.

We morphed.


End file.
